What Parents Do When Left Unattended

It is Summer, thank you Lord! It is actually HOT Summer. Which means about mid-day, the teenage boy can be found looking up guitar videos and playing extremely loud electric guitar jumping from one song to the next and we have encouraged his talent. The tween girl can be found lying on her bed playing games on her phone and mom...well, mom just realized I could disappear and nobody would even know it...so I did.

You see, when parents are left unattended, they can sometimes be found in the opposite direction of their kids. I've hid in the bathroom before, I've hid in my room...but today, no today, I hid in the swimming pool.

I quietly tiptoed through the house with my cover-up on hiding the swimsuit so nobody would know that the beach towel in my hand was leading me out the door and eventually to MY chair, my lay-out in the sun lounge chair! I was careful not to creak the door when I slipped unnoticed outside. With only my weight and age slowing me down I sprinted as fast as I could to the backyard water resort discarding the cover-up and towel as I climbed the ladder. I smiled as I jumped in creating refreshing waves which felt cool on my bare back. I looked back at the door and realized, I had done it. Nobody even knew I had left the house.

I cleaned the pool for 20 minutes getting my arm exercises in for the day. Still no one had reported me missing and I wasn't sure if I should be happy or sad about that....so I chose happy! I plopped myself up on pink pool float and grabbed up a noodle and some various pool toys, and I tossed them around, dove under to retrieve them, splashed my feet, dodged the darting June bugs and still, I was alone. I laid my head back, pulled my shades down and just floated. I must have been out there a good 45 minutes by now and still, nobody even cared.

As I lied with my eyes shut for a while drifting in and out a dream-like state, I saw a large shadow float over my closed lids. I opened my eyes, tried to focus with the noon sun blaring down on me, and there were four huge buzzards flying high over me. I realized I must have looked like a white floating corpse so I moved around, dove under the water, and just swam around in the water for a while, in the quiet country breeze.

After I had swam for well over an hour, my fingertips were wrinkled and I decided to dry out in my chair. Feeling very accomplished for my actions I picked up my phone, took a selfie to say "yep, I did that!" I was eventually found when the children needed something (didn't need me, just something). Not bad for somebody who found herself being left unattended! They should leave me alone more often!

The Chart of Emotions

You learn a lot when cleaning out your son's room. It's like sitting in a dark smelly room of history. One of the first things I found was a half coke bottle in a bag full of empty knife boxes where we had been to the Smokey Mtns 6 weeks ago!! HISTORY. I waited until he left before I attempted the overwhelming task of ridding the room of pure garbage. You see, he's almost a full-blown hoarder. He finds purpose in keeping trash....he might need the used bottle of water. I mean what if the room caught on fire and he needed to put it out quickly right?


As I walk around with my garbage sack, filling it full of unmentionables, untouchables, etc., I see something under his chest of drawers that catches my eye. It was a laminated school project I had never seen before...apparently from 7th grade (he's in 8th). At first, I smile at his chart of ...whatever. Apparently his math teacher made them draw out, and graph things in their past, both good and bad. If you look at the scoring system, the positives are in the first quadrant where the numbers are also positives. The lower end show things he didn't like...

As you may or not be able to tell, getting his Xbox, a phone, etc, ranked waaay up there while a first grade paddling, dead dog, etc, was way at the bottom. Understandable. But take a closer look...

If you look just above the neighbor dying and just below Grounded Forever....you'll see that I made his chart...terribly singing Mama???? How did that happen? And did I mention......THIS IS LAMINATED!!! Thanks guy, I appreciate it. The only thing worse than my singing is death and he'd rather be grounded forever than listen to me sing.

Imma Belieber

We climbed stairs to reach the Upper Level of the huge Arena. This is what we have been waiting for. She asked to see my tickets and when I showed them to her, she pointed to the ceiling and said, "just keep goin' up." The seat in front of me had an A on it and with a quick glance at my ticket, I knew we were in trouble. Yellow crime tape that said Do Not Cross ran beside the small partial railing all four of us were white knuckling and the four of us kept saying, "Don't look down. DO NOT TOUCH ME!! Why are these steps so small?" We finally made it to the ceiling back and only one row sat higher than we did. We took our seats carefully and stared at each other knowing we would sit there for hours, without movement or breathing, and I was okay with that. We had to keep STILL. We put the kids on a no-liquid diet so their bladders would hold up all night because every time I looked around, I got dizzy...we were that high!

It took the full 45 minutes to catch my breath, but when the lights finally dimmed and the music came on...I still knew I was technically a hundred feet in the air and if everyone didn't stop yelling and jumping around this concrete slab would collapse and we would all die in a mass grave of dust, heavy pillars and blue plastic seats...

But they started the timer.....I looked up and it was counting down 7 minutes, 6 minutes, 5 minutes 4...until Justin Beiber will walk in the door!!! Girls were screaming non-words anytime someone moved behind the stage because they thought it was him, or someone that knew him, or someone that has seen him with their own eyeballs. I yawned and updated my Facebook status and wondered why I could still smell the Circus...they hadn't been here since last year...

When they finally reached the last few seconds...people went nuts! My child was screaming and looking around because she was about to be in the same room with him...but he didn't walk in...

...he flew in on huge silver wings made of guitars and other musical instruments, and they all screamed LOUDER. It was the craziest thing I've ever heard. He sang, he danced, he performed and everyone just screamed. A chair arose from the middle of the stage we all knew he was about to pick One Girl. He asked, "Who is gonna be my baby?" The arena exploded with crying girls wanting that prized position and as we sat near the ceiling my child started yelling, "Justin!!! Justin!!" But he didn't see her...

It was an amazing show and I honestly can say I'd love to go see him again sometime when I get three more jobs to pay for the tickets. I am likely the meanest mama in the world because after arriving back home just before 1 a.m., I woke her up at 7 a.m. for school...and this is all she had left to give...

We have finally recovered from our Bieber hangovers. This will be a night she will NEVER FORGET, EVER EVER EVER...

Sitting with the devil

I'm not sure why I showed up for the Kindergarten Orientation yesterday...but something told me I needed to wear a bra and make-up. Thankfully, I did both because just moments before it started, I was told I needed to stand and speak. You gotta love those friends that throw you out in front of moving train but I couldn't say no to their adorable faces...no wait, I did say no, and they shoved me anyway...I might put them on my watch list!!

Anyway, I was gone for most of the day, I bought groceries, ran errands but everything seemed okay when I returned home. The husband left for work and we got ready for church.

I didn't have a clue the kids were intoxicated with sugar and caffeine until we sat down on the quiet pew. Giggles erupted from them both for no apparent reason other than they have completely went nuts and laughter soon went viral. I knew I had to keep the kids quiet so I looked around at my prey options.

There he sat, alone. It was the Devil. Well, he played the Devil in our Christmas play and I knew he would be perfect! I took child number one by the hand and told him he was to sit by the Devil man until service was over. The child lucked up because a cute little girl sat next to him from his Sunday School class so he HAD to be on his best behavior! Looking forward to being with the children all day so I can control what goes in their bodies! I can guarantee it won't be chocolate and caffeine!

I Need a Sub Syndrome

Dear Teachers,

I am currently open for booking substitute teaching jobs for August 21...the second day of school. I know you all show up with so much enthusiasm the first day, which is August 20...a few days away...but it doesn't take long before reality sets in...you are responsible for putting ALL THAT INFORMATION into their heads in just a few months.

Usually the first symptom of I Need a Sub Syndrome is diarrhea. This can usually start the morning of the first day but over that course of a 24 hr period, nausea sets in followed by the sweaty shakes, shallow breathing and finally tears. Some teachers develop hives and thoughts of I wanna go back to the beach overtake their daily activities. Both children and teachers cry for their mommies but somehow they all push through to make it until the end of the day.

Exhausted, both teachers and students pass out at eight o'clock that first night. Teachers however, being much older, often wake with that first day of school hangover unlike the children. The amount of caffeine they've poured into their bodies to get them through the first day would kill a horse. The kids wake fully refreshed, ready to go back and see their friends and teachers they already love. The poor teachers wake only when the alarm clock forces them to and they angrily slam their hand down to turn it off, or break it, which ever comes first. Heads hurt and bodies ache. Their furrowed brows lead them to the coffee pot and the sweet sound of percolating joe gives them enough energy to turn on the shower. They hop in, they hop out, the coffee is ready, and they are happy. This begins their long dependency on those dark grounded beans but this makes them happy, pretty and nice.

Some teachers never make it to the coffee pot. This is where I come in. So book me now teachers. If you feel like I Need a Sub Syndrome will not fade after that first day, give me a call. I go to bed at eight anyway, and my brows always lead me to the coffee pot each morning. Coffee makes me pretty, happy and nice, too.

Summer Vocab Begins....Now

Mid-day today, my children will begin their summer break from school. With this break brings new and old vocabulary most often heard during this time spent together...as a family...all...summer...long. I've composed a short list of things I'm likely to say, and things that will likely come through the mouths of my growing babies...

Me

• Get that frog OUT OF HERE!!
• Check for ticks
• Does it need stitches?
• Watch for snakes!!
• Put that down!! Ewww!
• I'm not too old to do a cartwheel!!
• Ouch, I'm too old to do cartwheels
• Get that out of my house!!!
• Go get my camera!!
• I'll put it Facebook
• Run along now
• Go find Mama some chocolate
• Everyone is on SILENCE!!
• Does everyone have on shoes?

Kids

• We're out of popsicles
• I'm bored
• I'm goin' swimmin'
• Look Mama, twelve frogs
• Let's go fishin'
• He hit me
• She hit me
• Snake!!!
• I'm runnin' away and NEVER EVER EVER comin' back
• I'm hungry
• Can we stay up late?
• If we be good, can we _____

...and the list goes on and on and on...looking forward to all the summer time fun!!

Because I'm 37

Last night, as I sat watching for the sun to go down which gives me permission to go to bed, I wondered what it would be like to be 36 again. I've been 37 for a whole 20 days now and I have no idea what it would be like to be younger again. As I scrolled through the the TV channels I saw American Idol was on... so I took a chance and stopped. I used to watch the show religiously just a few short years ago but because I'm 37, I had to turn it within the first five minutes. I shivered in my disappointment both in myself for not being able to take it and in the show itself for just not appealing to me anymore, and because I'm 37, I immediately switched it to Swamp People....ahhh, much better.

I used to watch shows like Big Brother, Jersey Shore, Amazing Race, The Bachelor, etc etc. Now, I barely even watch TV, I'd rather listen to the music channels (and yes, Gospel and Bluegrass rank as high as Old Skool Rap these days!) Because I'm 37, I dislike most of the songs played on the radio. It's not cute to curse, it's not cute to talk nasty, and most of the music is just bad and I know I've reached that point in my life where I'm my mother and there's probably no going back.

I've also realized recently that I don't have time for a lot of things...3 loads of laundry a day, cooking every single day, etc. but I'm not really THAT much busier. I'm guessing it's because I'm 37, it just takes me longer to do normal activities so I don't have time to do all that I did when I was younger! Now I spend a lot of my time backtracking. Re-entering rooms to try and remember why I went there in the first place. A lot of rethinking, now what is it I was supposed to tell my husband...

Last year I did a post (click here for The Digit) about turning 36 and when I went back and read it, I have so many more ailments to add! My mother bought me some Nair for my beard and mustache so I'm good with that, but let me add some things to my Digit List...

• at 36 I started paying my children to do more around the house, they need things like 36 flashlights and notebooks for baby dolls so I no longer buy toys and things except as gifts, they have to purchase these things by cleaning my house...Because I'm old, lazy and tired.
• at 37 my hip has started hurting. I'm assuming it's all the cartwheels and cheerleading jumps I did when I was 36 trying to prove that I was still young...but because I'm 37, I realize how stupid I was at 36. Now I realize my age, and will consider the consequence of replacement surgeries for all of the joints I put at risk when I do stupid things.

Anyway, it's been a great 20 days so far, and if I make it 345 more til I turn 38, I'll be a lucky and Blessed Old Lady! And I would like to thank the little boy in the 8th grade class I substituted in this week that tried to guess my age (VERY DANGEROUS GAME) and called out 29.....I guess at age 14 that seems very old.

Continuing Education

We strive to nurture and expand our children's education outside of the school doors. Today, we work on Home-Ec...

We may be looking to bring in tutors to teach them how to cook...

The Oscars

Here are a few pictures from our Valentines Banquet (for church) titled appropriately Night at The Oscars....So many celebs showed up from Tim McGraw, Hee Haw Gossipers, Ryan Seacrest, the Chipettes, The Supremes, Loretta Lynn.......too many to name!

They are so much fun-nutty-but fun!!! We had a great time!

Less than a minute

Never been in a play, never wanted to be in a play. However, one of my best friends needed me to fill a part for our church play she was directing, and I did it for her, because she needed me.

I only had like two lines, if you don't count all the screaming. I figured I could handle it no problem...and the screaming, with two hearing impaired kids, I've gotten REALLY good at that over the years! My character was a shopper. In real life, I despise shopping. So I had to totally get out of myself to play this role, which thrilled the hidden actress inside me. I wore my best flashy attire but had to still remain appropriate for church. I asked one of the other actresses, I mean my friend who was a shopper too, "Do you have any shopping bags for props? Mine all say Wal Mart, and for once I don't wanna shop at Wal Mart." She came through like a champ and we were all set.

She and I actually were hypocrites. We claimed to go church and do all good things but we were rude to a homeless man who wanted change and we brushed off some girls who offered us crosses while out and about. So for that, and apparently we weren't actually Saved either, we were going to Hell, we just didn't know it yet.


Now during rehearsal the Demons that came and took us away got kinda rough. One pushed and shoved me and over the course of November practices, I came to realize, they enjoyed pushing and shoving us. I tattle-taled to told my husband but then he joined the Demons and said if I needed extra practice at home he'd be glad to play the Demon role for me but I declined when I figured out he just wanted to shove me too.

So on the night of the play, I was prepared. I had practiced some kicking and fighting moves in my heels that I hoped would pay them back for the bruise on my arm look real and like I really was scared. When it came to our Judgement and we were not accepted into Heaven with the others, they came for us. I argued that I should go to Heaven instead but they wrapped their demon hands around my arm and began pulling me towards the black curtain Hell. I belted out a scream that sounded more like someone was trying to make me go on a ferris wheel. I tried not to laugh at my pathetic scream because I knew who was under the black hooded capes, I smile at them during church service but I had a job to do. The whole time they are pulling me closer and closer to Hell, I'm wondering if I've sufficiently embarrassed my husband enough yet, so I let out one last wretched cry just to be sure.


And just like that, it was over. We all went back up on stage and sang one last song. For less than a minute, I was an actress. I went back home, peeled off my fake eyelashes, washed off the three inches of make-up and returned to being me. I can't wait 'til next year. These people take their acting very seriously so I'll have to step up my game!

The Slapper

7:09

That's what time I woke up this morning. In my world, this is as INSANITY...but I was out late last night. I mean, I didn't even get home until like 9:00. It had been dark for hours when we left a university we'd been visiting, and one child was teetering between this world and a dream phase as she rested her head on a our jackets.

On the way home, my son was mesmerized by all the lights, cities had on display...who knew? We are rarely out after dark! He was amazed by the street lights, the headlights, everything that darkness brought. Several towns already had Christmas decor hanging from the posts.

I did great driving. I had GPS technology pointing me in the right direction. Once I got within 30 miles of home, I started to turn it off, because I knew exactly where I was but I left it on thinking it would entertain the kids. I've traveled this road a thousand times and I saw our Exit up ahead. I took the exit and when I got to the end of the short uphill ramp, I put on my blinker. I looked at the GPS who had been correct the entire trip and it wanted me to go in the opposite direction. "Huh, look! The GPS wants me to turn that way! How weird." I began to make my turn in the direction I knew was home, and I hear a backseat driver (aka, my mother) "Hey! Where are you going?"

I was just crazy, not used to driving in the dark, and I was about to take us in the opposite direction. For once, I was thankful for backseat drivers! I would have eventually figured it out I guess but I just shouldn't be allowed out after dark...at least not more than 15 miles from home.

I might even need to borrow my son's latest invention, the Sock Slapper. He says to use the sock slapper on people who need a good slappin'.

Now, it's 8:30 a.m. the morning after, and I've not gotten dressed, I'm still drinking coffee and have no intentions of doing much of anything today...and I kinda like it. About an hour before my husband gets home from work, I'll likely jump in the shower, put on make-up, light a candle so the house smells clean, and pretend I've actually been productive today...I love Fall Break from school...and this is pretty much gonna describe my week...I hope.

How To Avoid a Hangover

WOW, we had lots of partying going on this past weekend...and I find it very difficult to attend parties that don't begin at 2 p.m. and end by 5 due to being a granny my tedious schedule.

I have learned from experience that most not all parties will fit my schedule. So I've come up with ways to avoid that hangover...and no, it doesn't always require alcohol to have that hung-over feeling the next morning!

Here are the tips that helped me last weekend when I had one all-day festival followed by another party beginning at sundown and ending before midnight that same day...followed by a birthday party and another evening/night festival the very next day...WHEW.

My oldest at The Gym lock-in. They had SO MUCH FUN!! Very organized event and lots to do.

My youngest at the church festival. THEY RODE HORSES, need I say more? Big fun.

They let balloons go that said, "God loves you"

1. Start your day at 4 a.m. That just fixes everything!
2. Cook dinner as you cook breakfast so that when one party ends you can run home, eat, and your off to the next event in like one hour's time.
3. Pack a small lunch cooler with water. We live in the middle of nowhere and my kids only get thirsty in the car when there is no where or time to stop! Using a permanent marker label each water bottle with initials so that there are no transfer of sibling cooties.
4. Don't sit down. Chances are, you won't get back up. If your back gives out like me you may take small five minute breaks but sit on the edge of the seat so you don't get too comfy.
5. When you finally get home at midnight, have these already in place. They are cardboard inserts that block out all light from the outside. We shamelessly keep them under the bed and on days like this, we pull them out so the morning sun that we normally love to see, doesn't pull our eyes open until invited.

We are pathetic.

Horror at the Hometown Parade

We looked forward all day to participating in the hometown parade. Helping coach the youngest of the cheerleaders has been big fun and as we approach the end of our season with only one game left now, the parade was going to be one of the bittersweet final activities of our season.

We had candy, we had our signs, we had lots of tiny girls ready to ride in the parade. Homecoming queens of various sizes were perched atop cool cars, various high school classes had worked hard all week creating floats and the band could be heard throughout the small town. Excited football players and excited fans with adrenaline pumping, had heart rates elevated.

I was curious as to our transportation method since I saw no trucks with trailers saying "C-Team Cheerleaders". I finally asked our Head Coach when she pointed to a firetruck....ABSOLUTE PANIC set in.

Um, I get queasy doing a cartwheel so there's no way I'm climbing onto a very tall vehicle that moves and turns over has no seat belts or safety rails with about 20 squirmy children. My blood pressure (already too high from cold meds) soars to probably near stroke levels when I have no shame in telling her she's insane.

Thinking quick on my feet, I see a way out. There's a couple of girls nearly in tears as she told them they were to ride atop this massive red engine. I immediately told them, "Oh honey, you don't have to ride, Mrs. Blakely will walk with you behind the firetruck." They smiled and I was their hero.

As the girls started going up, one after the other, I saw one scared child who I thought I could count on, go up and find a spot on the firetruck, then another and another. What's wrong with these kids? I thought they were smart, I thought I could count on them. And just like that, I was left alone. Obviously I wasn't gonna walk by myself, there were some crazy 7th graders behind us and I was more scared of them than the height of the truck so after some baby talk coaxing from a fireman, I climbed. It took me four large steps to get up there. Once I up, I couldn't move. I screamed the little girls in a demonic voice, "Quit movin' DON'T MOVE!!"

One scared child had her hand clinched around my collar bone, and that was fine. I was using her for stability as much as she was using me. The sirens roared and we were mobile. My feet were pressed against the side of the truck and nothing moved other than my lungs and my heart. My eyes darted quickly behind dark shades and I'm sure fear was stamped across my face.

As we made our way through the parade, I loosened up enough to wave at a few random people. The girls were throwing candy but I continued to shout, "Sit down, don't move!!" as I never lost complete fear. The parade was over in about 30 seconds since our town is so small but then I faced to worst part of the ride...climbing the massive hill to get back to our starting point. We were moving straight up a hill and our bodies were shifting back. The Head Coach assured me I wasn't gonna drop to my bloody death and we were all safely returned.

That's me next to the yellow arrow holding on for dear life

The girls were fantastic and once I realized it was over and I was OFF the thing, I decided it was actually pretty safe. Our top speed was about 2 mph and I'm kinda glad I manned up and just did it. Whew, two days later, my blood pressure has finally lowered a bit and thank the Lord I didn't know about the whole firetruck thing before I arrived...I likely would have been too sick to attend!!!

Because I knew...

I tried to go back to sleep when my husband's alarm woke me at 2:45 this morning. For almost an hour I listened to him get ready for work, I listed to him open cabinet after cabinet as if I had moved all the dishes and he could find nothing...but I didn't get up to help. I kept lying there, hoping I'd drift back off to sleep. I did not. But I didn't get mad, because I knew...

And because I wanted to save him from the grotesque vision of a wife with a cold, I waited until I heard his car backing out of the driveway to get up. It was almost four. With tissues in hand, my runny nose and I went straight to the bathroom. I knew when I looked in the mirror, I had made a good decision by waiting til he left to get out of bed....ugh! But I didn't feel sorry for myself, because I knew...

I started the coffee and read some blogs. I cooked breakfast for the kids and eventually got myself ready for the day. I am an 'on call' substitute teacher so I kinda have to. I took the children to school and raced back home where I began laundry, cleaning the bathroom, even dinner (crock pot). I had "lunch" at 9 and another at 11 (baked potato w/daughter as I paid her a surprise visit @ school) and still no one needed me to sub so I smiled as I pulled back in my driveway, because I knew...

At exactly noon, I drank my Alka-seltzer cold plus and kicked off my shoes. I was about to do something I hadn't done in a long time. I turned the TV on in my bedroom to a movie of no interest and placed my head on my pillow. It wasn't long after that I heard machine guns. I opened my eyes and I knew...

I looked at the clock at it read 12:45, I had just spent the last 45 minutes in a blissful daytime coma, and they are the BEST! Ahh, refreshed and blessed. This may not happen again until 2012 but I enjoyed every peaceful minute.

Man Cold Awareness Day

I personally declare today, August 11, Man Cold Awareness Day. Since I have two men down at my home with this deadly disease I think we need to gather together and support our husbands and sons in spreading the word that they could be next without prior warning. It's important to recognize some of the warning signs and when they may occur.

• Always accompanied with a fever even if they refuse to prove it use a thermometer
• The tough guys usually suffer through these massive colds just long enough to attend social events like four wheeling with friends, camping, etc. but they are required a mandatory couch stay for a minimum of a full 24 hours post event. Their health usually plummets when they get home.
• As I mentioned, couch time is mandatory-this is the best place for them. After all, you can't possibly get to them quick enough back in the bedroom if their fever should spike or they have difficulty breathing
• Soup is a requirement, lots and lots of nose blowing, cold meds, the remote and anything else he may need-at my house we offer a "sick" blanket which always helps with the recovery process

So help me spread the word. Let's celebrate Man Cold Awareness Day and I'd love to hear ideas about how your family copes when this disease hits your house.

Free Diss Lessons!

Free!

Book now while we still have spaces available

The Blakely children will be giving free lessons next week on

Assuring Parents They Are NOT COOL

Book your free DISS LESSON early

space is limited

On Monday: Brooklyn will teach the art of rolling the eyes

This expert will demonstrate for her peers how to roll the eyes appropriately when parents make any suggestions on any subject. She has perfected the eye roll with everything from fashion suggestions to meal advice from elders and she's bringing it all to you FOR FREE!

On Tuesday: Gage will show his peers how to perfect selective hearing. He will strengthen their hearing at times of need and show them how to listen for key words like WalMart, toy store, four wheeler, and much more!

This lesson carries over to Wed when Gage will also demonstrate to his peers how to NOT HEAR words like clean up, pick up toys, throw away, unload dishwasher, any many more non important speech.

On Thursday: Both children will offer lessons on DIRTY LOOKS. These children have worked hard to perfect these horrid looks that will make parents feel knee high to a grasshopper. They will work on a combo of lip curls, teeth baring, eye squinting and nose wrinkling to give the dirtiest of dirty looks! And at no cost to you! These techniques work best when parents actually think they are funny or cool like dancing in the car, singing Justin Bieber and many other occasions that parents ACTUALLY think their children will enjoy.

On Friday: The workshop will conclude by bringing parents back in for the children to demonstrate their new DISSING techniques! Any children who can make their parents cry will be awarded with blue ribbons.

So get your DISSING DONE RIGHT! And hurry, this workshop is one week only.

The Alabama Chicken Snake

 We had a friend over today. He snapped at my husband before crawling under our house. I was a little concerned I wouldn't get any sleep, sure that every strand of hair brushing my neck was a snake coming to kill me...

however, our cat chased it back to the woods.

He strolled around the house, under the house, and even in our fire place outside on the patio, but we like to keep these visits short anyway. He was non-poisonous and typically we country-folk throw most non-poisonous snakes under the category of chicken snake.

Cup Size

Listen, I've tried to keep my kids as little as possible for as long as possible. So much so that I've even held onto to the baby fat I gained during pregnancy. My kids are now 7 and 10. It's time to get over it don't ya think?

I opened the cabinet this morning and realized we are still using tiny plastic dishes we've had FOR YEARS. I'm ridding our kitchen of these tiny things today (I'll hang on to maybe one or two) and we are moving them up to the adult dishes. They use the adult dishes for the most part anyway so it's just ME...I'm the one who needed to hang on to these plastic cups...and I'm letting go...they aren't big enough anyway!

Home Video

My daughter loves making videos. She gets in trouble on occasion due to the fact my batteries are usually powerless when I need them but I do love ever so often going back and actually watching what she films. Sometimes I actually find out the TRUTH of what happens during little fights between her and her older brother! She loves the camera!


 Adorable at 7, here she is...in a 2 1/2 min clip.

Dirt and all there she is. The kids have had to find creative ways to entertain themselves since we've been busy painting, you'll see some things out in the yard, some hand trucks ("elevator") and obviously this was right before I painted the porch! Enjoy, she'll pay me back one day!

My husband awoke this morning around 4:30 am to get ready for work and found cardboard notes all around the house...a little boy wanted to be sure he got to ride his four-wheeler in the mud today after all the rain we got last last night.

They were EVERYWHERE, haha.

We enjoyed our 4th. We don't go crazy with the fireworks, they are too expensive and we are always disappointed. But the few we got (for 50 bucks!) were enough to get the kids all excited!

Oh Sheet!

So we got to the condo down at the beach and my Mom went to the grocery store to buy the essentials like bread, cereal, milk, and beer while we took the kids down to the beach. It felt awesome down there, it was late in the afternoon, and we spent several hours just watching the three little ones enjoy the sand and ocean and eventually moved them up to the pool area.

Mother had fought the crowds of Wal Mart and finally returned with a van load of groceries. There were six of us total and I can tell, she had no intentions of running back and forth to the store.

We finally got everyone situation in the rooms, got groceries put away, kids showered and we were exhausted. It was about 10 o'clock and well beyond our bedtime! When we decided it was time fold out the couch for one of the children, I asked a question. "Has anyone seen any extra bedding or sheets?"

No one had and we began to search in a desperate panic. We searched high and low and only found a blanket (which went straight in to wash) but no sheets at all. Poor Mother spoke, "I'll just go back to Wal Mart and buy some."

She offered to take my daughter and I was thinking that's one less kid for us to watch reluctant but agreed. The remaining folk went onto the balcony and told ghost stories. I had my son and his little cousin so scared. Their wide eyes hung on my every word as I told story after story. Lightening crashed and thunder roared. Rain drops fell and forced us off the balcony back inside. After driving through a monsoon, Mom finally returned and she had sheets, and my daughter. My child took off her hearing devices and said, "I'm going to bed!" and she was asleep within 2 minutes.

We patiently waited for everything to finish washing and drying and my sister decided to sit next to Mother on the couch. When she did, she raised up and said, "What was that?" She lifted the cushion behind her and pulled out a pack of unopened sheets...PERFECT. We three adults burst into laughter and we were frightening the children.

We went to bed LATE early in the morning thinking we'd sleep til at least 7 a.m. but I was awakened by my bedmate at 5:30. "Mama! I had a nightmare!!" And it was all my fault for telling those horrible stories to those poor children.