Friday, October 28, 2011

How To Avoid a Hangover

WOW, we had lots of partying going on this past weekend...and I find it very difficult to attend parties that don't begin at 2 p.m. and end by 5 due to being a granny my tedious schedule.

I have learned from experience that most not all parties will fit my schedule. So I've come up with ways to avoid that hangover...and no, it doesn't always require alcohol to have that hung-over feeling the next morning!

Here are the tips that helped me last weekend when I had one all-day festival followed by another party beginning at sundown and ending before midnight that same day...followed by a birthday party and another evening/night festival the very next day...WHEW.
My oldest at The Gym lock-in. They had SO MUCH FUN!! Very organized event and lots to do.

My youngest at the church festival. THEY RODE HORSES, need I say more? Big fun.

They let balloons go that said, "God loves you"

  1. Start your day at 4 a.m. That just fixes everything!
  2. Cook dinner as you cook breakfast so that when one party ends you can run home, eat, and your off to the next event in like one hour's time.
  3. Pack a small lunch cooler with water. We live in the middle of nowhere and my kids only get thirsty in the car when there is no where or time to stop! Using a permanent marker label each water bottle with initials so that there are no transfer of sibling cooties.
  4. Don't sit down. Chances are, you won't get back up. If your back gives out like me you may take small five minute breaks but sit on the edge of the seat so you don't get too comfy.
  5. When you finally get home at midnight, have these already in place. They are cardboard inserts that block out all light from the outside. We shamelessly keep them under the bed and on days like this, we pull them out so the morning sun that we normally love to see, doesn't pull our eyes open until invited.

We are pathetic.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Extreme Flu is Spreading Fast

I just have to tell you!! My sister just called me, she's been trying to reach me since yesterday and I knew something was wrong. We finally spoke today and she started describing a condition I am all too familiar with.

She described, "I made it out to the car...I was aware that I was there but had no idea who was driving. I finally 'came to' at the red light down the road and realized I was driving." She said she collapsed when she got home and went on to say, "I had to cover up. I was suffering from flu-like symptoms."

I took one look at the aerobic schedule from yesterday and I knew immediately she was suffering from Extreme Flu brought on by Lady F. If you aren't familiar with this "lady" she's sort of like Charles Manson since she thinks it's perfectly okay to cause physical and mental harm to people. She's started working at a big-time hospital recently and she's since her visits are limited now to the gym, she's even more brutal and heartless than before.

I have to admit, I was almost envious of my sister though. I haven't been to the gym in almost a week and haven't had a class in like 2 weeks!! I need to burn some major calories. Ever since I heard about the soon to rise cost in peanut butter, I've been storing it like squirrels do nuts for the winter...only I've been storing it on my hips instead of our pantry! Looks like Lady F has her work cut out for her when I return to one of her classes.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Horror at the Hometown Parade

We looked forward all day to participating in the hometown parade. Helping coach the youngest of the cheerleaders has been big fun and as we approach the end of our season with only one game left now, the parade was going to be one of the bittersweet final activities of our season.

We had candy, we had our signs, we had lots of tiny girls ready to ride in the parade. Homecoming queens of various sizes were perched atop cool cars, various high school classes had worked hard all week creating floats and the band could be heard throughout the small town. Excited football players and excited fans with adrenaline pumping, had heart rates elevated.

I was curious as to our transportation method since I saw no trucks with trailers saying "C-Team Cheerleaders". I finally asked our Head Coach when she pointed to a firetruck....ABSOLUTE PANIC set in.

Um, I get queasy doing a cartwheel so there's no way I'm climbing onto a very tall vehicle that moves and turns over has no seat belts or safety rails with about 20 squirmy children. My blood pressure (already too high from cold meds) soars to probably near stroke levels when I have no shame in telling her she's insane.

Thinking quick on my feet, I see a way out. There's a couple of girls nearly in tears as she told them they were to ride atop this massive red engine. I immediately told them, "Oh honey, you don't have to ride, Mrs. Blakely will walk with you behind the firetruck." They smiled and I was their hero.

As the girls started going up, one after the other, I saw one scared child who I thought I could count on, go up and find a spot on the firetruck, then another and another. What's wrong with these kids? I thought they were smart, I thought I could count on them. And just like that, I was left alone. Obviously I wasn't gonna walk by myself, there were some crazy 7th graders behind us and I was more scared of them than the height of the truck so after some baby talk coaxing from a fireman, I climbed. It took me four large steps to get up there. Once I up, I couldn't move. I screamed the little girls in a demonic voice, "Quit movin' DON'T MOVE!!"

One scared child had her hand clinched around my collar bone, and that was fine. I was using her for stability as much as she was using me. The sirens roared and we were mobile. My feet were pressed against the side of the truck and nothing moved other than my lungs and my heart. My eyes darted quickly behind dark shades and I'm sure fear was stamped across my face.

As we made our way through the parade, I loosened up enough to wave at a few random people. The girls were throwing candy but I continued to shout, "Sit down, don't move!!" as I never lost complete fear. The parade was over in about 30 seconds since our town is so small but then I faced to worst part of the ride...climbing the massive hill to get back to our starting point. We were moving straight up a hill and our bodies were shifting back. The Head Coach assured me I wasn't gonna drop to my bloody death and we were all safely returned.

That's me next to the yellow arrow holding on for dear life

The girls were fantastic and once I realized it was over and I was OFF the thing, I decided it was actually pretty safe. Our top speed was about 2 mph and I'm kinda glad I manned up and just did it. Whew, two days later, my blood pressure has finally lowered a bit and thank the Lord I didn't know about the whole firetruck thing before I arrived...I likely would have been too sick to attend!!!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Ambulance at My House

There is nothing like sleep walking to the bathroom in the middle of the night and hear an extremely loud and close ambulance at my house. It was so close in fact I didn't just wake up, I woke in full blown Mama instinct panic save my kids from a fire kind of mode even though it was an ambulance. I was standing at my son's door so when I flung his door open I saw lights. It was a darn toy! He is deaf so he never heard it so I simply shut his door and acted as if it didn't happen. I was kind of disappointed I wouldn't be a hero this day.

I've been fighting for my life a man cold. The older I get, the longer my colds last. This is the second full week of sniffles, runny nose, bleeding nose, I can't reach the remote or open the dishwasher and quite frankly, no one here wants to hear it anymore. Looks like I'm gonna have to break down and do some kinda laundry but I'll grunt and grown as if it's breaking every bone in my body to see if I can grab one more day of sympathy. Actually it's my school's PTO Homecoming Spirit Store sale and town parade so I'll attend these events first and then come home and be sick. I've learned from the pro that man colds never interfere with football so I can always be sick after the social events! Today I shall paint red and blue under by eyes to hide my bags and get these kids all fired up for the big game tonight! Woop Woop!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Because I knew...

I tried to go back to sleep when my husband's alarm woke me at 2:45 this morning. For almost an hour I listened to him get ready for work, I listed to him open cabinet after cabinet as if I had moved all the dishes and he could find nothing...but I didn't get up to help. I kept lying there, hoping I'd drift back off to sleep. I did not. But I didn't get mad, because I knew...

And because I wanted to save him from the grotesque vision of a wife with a cold, I waited until I heard his car backing out of the driveway to get up. It was almost four. With tissues in hand, my runny nose and I went straight to the bathroom. I knew when I looked in the mirror, I had made a good decision by waiting til he left to get out of bed....ugh! But I didn't feel sorry for myself, because I knew...

I started the coffee and read some blogs. I cooked breakfast for the kids and eventually got myself ready for the day. I am an 'on call' substitute teacher so I kinda have to. I took the children to school and raced back home where I began laundry, cleaning the bathroom, even dinner (crock pot). I had "lunch" at 9 and another at 11 (baked potato w/daughter as I paid her a surprise visit @ school) and still no one needed me to sub so I smiled as I pulled back in my driveway, because I knew...

At exactly noon, I drank my Alka-seltzer cold plus and kicked off my shoes. I was about to do something I hadn't done in a long time. I turned the TV on in my bedroom to a movie of no interest and placed my head on my pillow. It wasn't long after that I heard machine guns. I opened my eyes and I knew...

I looked at the clock at it read 12:45, I had just spent the last 45 minutes in a blissful daytime coma, and they are the BEST! Ahh, refreshed and blessed. This may not happen again until 2012 but I enjoyed every peaceful minute.