Friday, June 22, 2012

Like Spiderman

I walked in hoping to go unnoticed. Accidentally making eye contact with two instructors while trying to quickly sign my child up for a Fit Kit camp, I suddenly felt as if I were under a spot light. Heat filled my shameful face as they each approached me at different times. I tried to fill one with excuses but she only looked at me as if I had thoroughly disgusted her. The other walked up wearing her three kids so there goes the excuse of "oh sorry I haven't been in like a year but my kids are out of school..." Darn.

I walked to my car before I got bullied into some heart pumping aerobic class and made my way to Wal Mart for groceries. Whew, I was home free. I felt liberated as I conquered that major task at the gym without major complications. I was smiling and minding my own business when I turned the corner and THERE SHE WAS AGAIN...the instructor I had just disgusted down at the gym. Is she like Spiderman or something? I smiled confidently since she had not caught me on the snack aisle and strutted past as if I were glad to see her again.

Milk, cheese, darn I had forgot toilet cleaner...back I go a few aisles and BAM! There she is again. I accidentally roll my eyes this time and the thought of her stalking me crossed my mind. I quickly stroll my buggy way across the store only to find her there too, snarling with venom dripping from her fang. How is this woman doing this?

My stomach turned. I quickly threw some stuff in my cart as if a snow storm is about to hit, and I still needed bread! Right as I'm about be in the clear, I hear a low growl from around the corner and I swear I hopped over three aisles as if I were a gold medalist in the Summer Olympics. I had to get away. I knew that I had not got apples but there was no way, I'd allow the predator to get her prey by risking life and limb for something that grows freely in my yard anyway. It was really a close call today, but I do believe I might need to get back to the gym...if for no other reason but to shop peacefully!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

They've lost it...

You know that feeling when you leave the house of what did I forget?? Happens to everyone right? Well it didn't take me but a few miles before I realized what I didn't have...and that's high doses of anxiety medication!

What a day. The kids had to be separated right away. No surprise. Before we even got through the first town, I had to lay down the law.
"Look," I said. "You two will lose 4 wheelers, then you will lose your outside privileges and then it'll be a nice long nap for you if we can't all get along. Don't even look at each other."
I tried everything to distract them and finally, peace. The girl played quietly with Legos while the boy amused himself by staring at people as we drove past them. My luck was changing. Then, I noticed that we had a stalker. You know the weird guy that drives right beside you and never wants to pass or slow down, just ride along side you but you're too stubborn to look over kinda stalker. I thought I heard something which finally made me turn to look and see what the creep wanted only to find one of our favorite family friends laughing at us. Yes, we probably annoyed the traffic behind us as we chatted with our windows down for a mile or so but it was good to see "Old Man Clem". The rain had stopped pouring literally outside and the kids had calmed (just before the storm!)

We got to our appointment at The HEAR Center where #1 had to get his ears worked on. I thought he could play nice with the Legos while he got his ears tuned up...but I was wrong.

He instead made a toilet (ahem, yes I see what's inside) and before he was finished, yes, the Legos got taken away from his Audiologist. Not for his special design but for the fact he just quit participating in the proper activity and decided to horseplay with the sister. The kids had just gone nuts by this point. They DID NOT earn a prize (again) and let's just say...ahh, nap time is wonderful. The only thing that got me through the horror was knowing that they've been worse....sad but true. We've been through worse and I'm lucky we have such a wonderful Audiologist that can get us MAPped and get us out of there quickly. (I wonder what she says to herself to get her through a Blakely appointment? "They'll be gone soon, they'll be gone soon....")

Just wasn't our best trip. This was our first big outing though since we've been out of school so it's hard to say if they've lost it completely yet. Only time will tell. I'm hoping the energy isn't this high on Friday when I'm trapped in driving a van for six hours with not only them but another wild child plus two more adults. As we walked out of the door the Audiologist whispered demonic-like "Good luck Friday."

But in their defense, the removal of activities and the addition of a nap (aka rest time) has really improved their behavior-they are usually pretty darn good at home-and like I told them...Mommy could develop a Social Phobia where we never go anywhere if they misbehave every time we leave the house...which means no Wal Mart, no thrift stores, no beach!