Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The problem with pregnant people

Now, don't take this the wrong way, I've been pregnant twice (years ago). Believe me, I know all about that awkward pregnant stage.

So I go to the gym last week and wouldn't you know it, one of the new instructors has turned up pregnant. This was fabulous news for me her. I hope to take full advantage of her condition and breeze through class. She's taken Lady F's classes for years so I'm nervous she's gonna have some type of "out do the Lady" type mentality but I'm hoping her pregnancy will interfere. I saunter up to the owner of the place and ask how the new girl is doing. I wanted details...is she as bad as Lady F? etc. etc. The owner was careful not to turn me against the class by lying by only admitting what she thought I could handle. About the only thing good from that conversation was that the instructor herself felt like she was getting out of breath more easily, so I was told. GREAT! That's all I needed to confidently walk into class.

Well, I knew I was out of shape from skipping almost a month of classes in trouble when Ms Pregs seems to be in a great mood. I had counted on those awful hormones to be encouraging her to just go back to bed but I was out of luck. We bounced around, I pretended to tie my shoe was out of breath for most of the class but I survived.

Today I go back for more torture because of the recent holiday where I ate most of my kids' candy while they were at school. I had in mind, I only wanted to burn 300 calories...not 302 or 305, I would put forth an effort until I reached what I felt was 300 calories burned and I'd quit. LOL-what a joke.

I watched my phone as if I was on call for surgery, knowing I'm just a sub teacher and no one was gonna call today. I had seen another one of the subs walking the track so I knew the school had options if they couldn't get me, but I pretended. I stared at my phone hoping it would ring via telepathy...it didn't happen.

I just kept going and going. I wanted to tell the crazy Ms Pregs that she could get off balance easy or trip and fall and break her face if she didn't stop jumping, turning, over-the-top and back over maneuvering on the step...but she would have thought I was trying to get out of working, sweating, moving my large mass beyond what I thought it could do...she'd know I wasn't really looking out for her best interest, only mine.

So that's the problem with pregnant people. In the beginning, they want to keep their weight down, they feel fat even though they aren't even in maternity clothes...they don't care if your back hurts because their's does too, they don't care if you get dizzy when you stand up too fast, because they do too...yet they just keep on going...because they can. Now, I'm going to get in the shower, and take a nap....BECAUSE I CAN. I am old not pregant...and OLD is something she hasn't experienced yet, so she'll just have to trust me on that!
I got whipped by a pregnant lady. Passing out would have been easier, and I almost did...maybe next time...if I don't come up with some other ideas!

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