Sunday, January 1, 2012

A Slider

A child woke before me this morning. That doesn't work for me, so I waited. I could see his flashlight shining through the living room but waited. I heard the bathroom door shut. WHEW! Hopefully he'd go right back to bed during this five o'clock hour. I heard the door open and I held my breath. Not sure why, it's not like he'd know I wanted him to go back to bed and sleep for two hours so I could have time to myself, he thought we were all still asleep. But I saw the flashlight again, and then heard a quick pounce as he jumped into the air like a flying squirrel and landed on his mattress. And I waited.

It only took a couple of minutes before I realized I too needed the bathroom. Did I drink a gallon of water before bed? I couldn't wait any longer but how would I get past his open door without him seeing me? I walked without fear through the living room and then paused in the kitchen near his door. I saw his hearing devices on the counter so I knew he couldn't hear me, but he would see my shadow as I passed between the kitchen night-light and his room unless, of course, I crawled. That's exactly what I did and I discovered the best thing ever! How to do a slider.

I'm no stranger to crawling past the children's bedroom doors to keep then in bed where they belong but a slider is so much easier and faster. Normally I take slow, deliberate advances so there's minimal bruising to the shins and it gives my knees a chance to pop instead of break in two. But today, I looked down and I had on the perfect outfit for a new fluffy pajama pants I got for Christmas.

I could hear the child sniff, so I knew he was awake. I placed my nervous palms down on the linoleum and took a deep breath. I counted down, three, two, one and with one quick pull I was sliding fast across the floor. My bum caught on the threshold up ahead OUCH and I was in the clear. I pulled myself up with the refrigerator as my crutch and walked to the restroom as if that never happened. The only problem was could I pull it off twice? I chuckled to myself at the thought of my husband coming out to "catch me" in action but it was well worth the risk.

I had to get back, the coffee and computer was on the other side. I placed my back against the large cold appliance that had just helped me up and waited. It was gonna be harder getting back than it was going, there was the threshold and less space! This time, instead of placing my hands outward, I had to stretch out a leg. I was gonna have to spider across instead of slide. That's okay. I can "spider" I think to myself. And I did just that. I hunkered down and as quick as an adult human spider with four legs can go, I went. Whew! I rewarded myself with a cup of coffee and sat at the computer. I was home free. Five minutes later, I saw the flashlight and he came in the room and smiled at me, he smelled coffee. Perfect.

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