Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Pain in my innards

I awoke with full intention to lace up the sneakers, and streeeeetch really really good, and have a full day of toe-touches, herkies, round-off back handsprings...well, at least one or two of those on that list. I've never been able to do flips other than the sad cartwheels I've boasted that I can still pull off.

What happened in reality is that, we shelled peas til lunch, then I prepped the peas for the freezer for a while after that...followed by laundry, laundry, and laundry. Exactly one hour before time to leave for cheer practice, I put on my shoes and I stretched. When I felt comfortable with the idea of going outside and trying to lift my legs up off the ground using my arms and core, I proceeded to the back door. I walked outside, taking slow deep breaths, thankful for every step I took, knowing I was probably about to break an appendage. I love you right foot, I love you left leg, I thought as I felt with each step I took, it could be my last for a while. I searched for that perfect spot of yard, not too bumpy, no rocks...I was looking for the absolute safest slice of ground. Once I found it, I stood still and listened...No cars, we're good.

I did a few practice rounds, with a simple high kick. With sweat on my brow and air in my lungs, I lifted my arms and attempted to pull both legs up off the ground and into a herkie...

Both feet did come off the ground but the landing...tsk, tsk. I didn't fall so that was a good sign, but my confidence was lessening and my mind tried to come up with an intelligent solution. You see, I had volunteered to TEACH THE DARN JUMPS.

I tried the toe-touch and several more herkies but I looked like an overweight 36 year old trying to be a cheerleader. Panic slowly set in, but I decided that I'd just call on one of the older girls on the squad to demo while I counted for them....Yea, yea, that's it. Problem solved.

I walked back into the air condition when I noticed a slight pain in my....innards. It was deep in my stomach and felt like maybe I'd lacerated my stomach lining or maybe dislocated a rib or something...but I had to get to practice soon.

Soon I found myself at practice, scoping out every single older cheerleader and hoping to find one that would demo the jumps. I was met by one of the other coaches and I swear she was sent to rescue me! With her pearly whites, and tan skin she looks me right in the eye and says, "Now Val, Carly's here (a teen cheerleader) and would love to demo the jumps for us unless you just really want to do them." For a brief moment, I'd thought she'd asked me to marry her and I was saying YES, because I could not have been happier.

So a very happy ending, Big V did not have to jump, nothing was damaged too badly and I walk another day. Kinda disappointed I'm not having another wedding but hey, I'm happily married anyway! Now, where's my ibuprofen? I do have a sore back, and several small parts to get better by tomorrow when we go and do it all again! And next we tackle the dance routine...Dirty Bit!  Woot Woot!

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