Cheese Balls

My son who is almost 11 can not take his eyes off of this picture of his little sister. He even woke up and said,"show me that picture again!" Just when I thought he was marveling in his sister's adorableness, he said, "Awww, I wish she was little like that again. She was nice back then." He then asked if I bought her those cheese balls, he knew she wanted them but I assured him, she got the cheese balls!

Hip Hoppin'

I showed up yesterday to take my sister's aerobics class down at The Gym. Being such a pretty Sunday afternoon the class was small, very small but she taught it anyway. She was previewing her cd and I heard some Metallica mixed with Lady Gaga, I heard Nirvana mixed with...something-it sounded like Rockin' Robin, but not in a horrible way, it was actually kinda good. I started to get a burst of energy just from the music so I gave her a few shouts out to get the party started and soon we were movin'. We hopped, we stepped, we lunged, we were burning some calories.

She had us use our weights during intervals and I was sure that the "old lady" weights I had picked up would feel like 20 lbs in a matter of minutes, and I was right. After a few minutes, the music really got good! I heard Nelly which made me want to go grab a band-aid and stick it under my eye because everyone knows, I love me some Nelly. And besides, band aids are much more accessible to me than the platinum gillz.

Next thing I know, I'm doing the snake, the smurf, the butterfly, all kinds of old skool dancin' and so were the other girls. We'd watch the window to make sure no one was there and then we'd break loose, it was very comical but fun at the same time. At one point, she played the song by Eazy E and Johnny Cash, and it was on...


As soon as the window was clear, I really broke down! I mean all of us were "tearin' it up!" ... and it happened. We got caught! Hilarious! A girl was going to get some water at the water fountain and she quickly darted into the bathroom where she probably burst out laughing. Soon after, as expected, several other girls came out to "get water" and it finally got to the point where we JUST DIDN'T CARE anymore. But oh, what fun we had on Hip Hop Sunday!! If we ever do it again, I can almost guarantee you those girls that were watching, will be in there with us! We got quite the workout, burned lots of calories, did weights a good bit and then abs to close out the class. Do you know how many crunches you can do in five minutes? I was about to die. I thought for sure my Cesarean Section scar would pop back open before we finished! Good times at The Gym yesterday, good times.

Continuing Education

We strive to nurture and expand our children's education outside of the school doors. Today, we work on Home-Ec...

We may be looking to bring in tutors to teach them how to cook...

Toys R Us

My last outing with the kids in Birmingham...alone...with THEM was a little hectic with appointments and this that and the other...I even looked over once and saw the kids giggling to the man next to us at the red light...the man was giggling too (weird) so I lifted up the dry erase board and found this...

Could have been worse! Who knows how long they'd been holding that up as I drove along, singing/dancing and all along they are drawing lots of attention our way....gotta love 'em. This was a fun trip, we only had shopping to do...and lunch to eat. No appointments, except with Toys 'R Us and we had a great trip!!

 We bought Legos...

We ate at my brother and sister-in-laws' restaurant Brother Zeke's and it was fabulous! The corn bread muffins, the sweet potato fries and the squash caserole....I barely had room for the chicken but it was so yummy. They opened this new restaurant up a while back but we've never made it down until yesterday and mannnnnn, I wanna go back. One kid cleaned her plate and EVEN ATE THE BREAD. She doesn't eat bread! One kid took a to-go box home with him and will polish off his bbq stuffed potato today!

We stopped off at a Christian book store and bought some needful things and made it home in time for me to fall out (and doze off) on the sofa...I heard my husband's car door shut and I jumped up, wiped my eyes and pretended to have busy all along. He never knew I was asleep!

The Oscars

Here are a few pictures from our Valentines Banquet (for church) titled appropriately Night at The Oscars....So many celebs showed up from Tim McGraw, Hee Haw Gossipers, Ryan Seacrest, the Chipettes, The Supremes, Loretta Lynn.......too many to name!

They are so much fun-nutty-but fun!!! We had a great time!

Ready to Pass Out

I was absolutely ready to pass out last night. I've been taking sinus/allergy meds for several days now and they always make me sleepy anyway but on top of that, Brooklyn had her little cousin sleep over and keeping up with three kids just wore me out...even though they were "perfect" little angels.

I did approximately 9 loads of laundry yesterday, I washed sheets, blankets, comforters, throw rugs, you name it! By the time 7 o'clock bedtime rolled around, I was whipped. I crawled into my fresh, clean, deliciously smelling bed. Snuggled down and got warm, and immediately my entire body simply relaxed and I could feel myself drifting out of this world. I heard a distance and faint call from a child, "Mama." I had just put the child to bed. I'd fed her, made her brush her teeth, use the bathroom, got a sip of water, sat in the bed with her and tickle-scratched her arms til her eyes rolled back in her head. I mean what more can a child need? So I ignored her.

Ahh, I almost felt weightless as I breathed in deeply and smiled at the thought of the upcoming rest. Again I hear, "Mama." I began to get a little irritated because she's beginning to make this a habit...calling me back to tell me something like "We're having pizza at school tomorrow" or something of the like when I am already so comfy in my bed. After being rudely interrupted again, I try to visit back to that relaxing happy place I call my nightly coma when I hear a final, elevated "Mama."

Whew. I exhaled with defeat and flip the covers back and drag myself away from my most favorite, warm spot and go see what this child wants. With no glasses to see with, I squint my eyes from her bedroom door and ask, "What?" She points to her Justin Bieber poster and says, "That's a watch he's wearing."

Perfect.

We've Reached That Point

Irritated, I ransack the dryer for that final sock. Nothing was left but a couple of washcloths and a towel.  I look at the sock basket. The one piled high with socks because it shreds my nerves I'm too lazy to sort through them. I find one similar but not the same. For me or the kids, similar would work just fine but not for the husband, so look at the neat stacks I've already folded and I notice something. In my son's stack, I see a pair of socks that look almost the same, but something is a little different. Oh yeah! One has a gray bottom, the other is just white. There's my final sock. I hold the two socks up and I almost tear up. We've reached that point. Our children are big enough that I can't tell what is mine from my daughter's or my son's from my husband's. It's a sad, sad, day.

Driving to school one day, my son's friend (a classmate that carpools with us) got out her phone and was turning it off as we pulled in the parking lot. My child says, "Gyah, Mama won't let me have a phone til I get to seventh grade!" I tell him that he doesn't even talk on the phone....ever, so all he would use it for is texting and I'll get him one when he leaves the comforts of the elementary school, and heads over the scary high school. I am the ridiculous mother...we've reached that point.

The two kids that used to run around the yard together (all day long), collect worms and frogs just to freak me out and play in the tree house together, now can't play peacefully together for more than fifteen minutes. She's still into her dolls and playing school while he's hunting with a B B gun and looking for firewood. Unfortunately, we've reached that point.

I'm just looking to come out of this alive and with all my limbs. I may have to donate some brain cells as I lose everything from common sense to data that used to be important like my age, weight, and birthday.

A Slider

A child woke before me this morning. That doesn't work for me, so I waited. I could see his flashlight shining through the living room but waited. I heard the bathroom door shut. WHEW! Hopefully he'd go right back to bed during this five o'clock hour. I heard the door open and I held my breath. Not sure why, it's not like he'd know I wanted him to go back to bed and sleep for two hours so I could have time to myself, he thought we were all still asleep. But I saw the flashlight again, and then heard a quick pounce as he jumped into the air like a flying squirrel and landed on his mattress. And I waited.

It only took a couple of minutes before I realized I too needed the bathroom. Did I drink a gallon of water before bed? I couldn't wait any longer but how would I get past his open door without him seeing me? I walked without fear through the living room and then paused in the kitchen near his door. I saw his hearing devices on the counter so I knew he couldn't hear me, but he would see my shadow as I passed between the kitchen night-light and his room unless, of course, I crawled. That's exactly what I did and I discovered the best thing ever! How to do a slider.

I'm no stranger to crawling past the children's bedroom doors to keep then in bed where they belong but a slider is so much easier and faster. Normally I take slow, deliberate advances so there's minimal bruising to the shins and it gives my knees a chance to pop instead of break in two. But today, I looked down and I had on the perfect outfit for a slider...my new fluffy pajama pants I got for Christmas.

I could hear the child sniff, so I knew he was awake. I placed my nervous palms down on the linoleum and took a deep breath. I counted down, three, two, one and with one quick pull I was sliding fast across the floor. My bum caught on the threshold up ahead OUCH and I was in the clear. I pulled myself up with the refrigerator as my crutch and walked to the restroom as if that never happened. The only problem was could I pull it off twice? I chuckled to myself at the thought of my husband coming out to "catch me" in action but it was well worth the risk.

I had to get back, the coffee and computer was on the other side. I placed my back against the large cold appliance that had just helped me up and waited. It was gonna be harder getting back than it was going, there was the threshold and less space! This time, instead of placing my hands outward, I had to stretch out a leg. I was gonna have to spider across instead of slide. That's okay. I can "spider" I think to myself. And I did just that. I hunkered down and as quick as an adult human spider with four legs can go, I went. Whew! I rewarded myself with a cup of coffee and sat at the computer. I was home free. Five minutes later, I saw the flashlight and he came in the room and smiled at me, he smelled coffee. Perfect.

8 Years Ago

Eight years ago today I kept a promise. I promised not to mess up my doctor's Christmas if he'd, in return, GET HER OUT the morning after. On this day 8 years ago, I walked in pain into that hospital, admitted myself for surgery, and waited impatiently. The nurses took good care of me and when the doctor came in to tell me an emergency was going in ahead of me, I rolled my eyes but politely said not a word. I needed this kid out. I sat on the bed with a catheter in place and awaited my turn.

Finally, they came to get me. I sat myself up on that table and I shook uncontrollably in full body convulsions. A spinal was administered that felt like an electric current running down the right side of my body, and I jerked. Oops, but they finally got it in and it all began. With a big blue curtain now splattered with my own blood hiding my view I hear, "Hey! You can't cry, you're not even born yet!!" But she cried anyway because she is my B. She is strong, powerful, and stubborn. If you tell her she can't, she will. She's a writer and a fighter, she's a hug with some love.

Happy 8th Birthday my B! I love you!

Less than a minute

Never been in a play, never wanted to be in a play. However, one of my best friends needed me to fill a part for our church play she was directing, and I did it for her, because she needed me.

I only had like two lines, if you don't count all the screaming. I figured I could handle it no problem...and the screaming, with two hearing impaired kids, I've gotten REALLY good at that over the years! My character was a shopper. In real life, I despise shopping. So I had to totally get out of myself to play this role, which thrilled the hidden actress inside me. I wore my best flashy attire but had to still remain appropriate for church. I asked one of the other actresses, I mean my friend who was a shopper too, "Do you have any shopping bags for props? Mine all say Wal Mart, and for once I don't wanna shop at Wal Mart." She came through like a champ and we were all set.

She and I actually were hypocrites. We claimed to go church and do all good things but we were rude to a homeless man who wanted change and we brushed off some girls who offered us crosses while out and about. So for that, and apparently we weren't actually Saved either, we were going to Hell, we just didn't know it yet.


Now during rehearsal the Demons that came and took us away got kinda rough. One pushed and shoved me and over the course of November practices, I came to realize, they enjoyed pushing and shoving us. I tattle-taled to told my husband but then he joined the Demons and said if I needed extra practice at home he'd be glad to play the Demon role for me but I declined when I figured out he just wanted to shove me too.

So on the night of the play, I was prepared. I had practiced some kicking and fighting moves in my heels that I hoped would pay them back for the bruise on my arm look real and like I really was scared. When it came to our Judgement and we were not accepted into Heaven with the others, they came for us. I argued that I should go to Heaven instead but they wrapped their demon hands around my arm and began pulling me towards the black curtain Hell. I belted out a scream that sounded more like someone was trying to make me go on a ferris wheel. I tried not to laugh at my pathetic scream because I knew who was under the black hooded capes, I smile at them during church service but I had a job to do. The whole time they are pulling me closer and closer to Hell, I'm wondering if I've sufficiently embarrassed my husband enough yet, so I let out one last wretched cry just to be sure.


And just like that, it was over. We all went back up on stage and sang one last song. For less than a minute, I was an actress. I went back home, peeled off my fake eyelashes, washed off the three inches of make-up and returned to being me. I can't wait 'til next year. These people take their acting very seriously so I'll have to step up my game!