The Body Snatcher

Okay, I'm all for five a.m. workouts, loud music pumping through my body, even an occasional hoopin' and hollerin' from folks. However, I'm not a smiler. I don't smile until I drop the kids off at school around 7:30 every morning. So when I walk in spin class and see the instructor wearing her pearly white smile, I was forced to half-heartedly grin and hop on my bike.

I look at this lady, we'll call her "Bee" and she's all chipper, and you can tell she can't wait to burn some calories. Me either! As the class progressed closer to the hour's end, my bad thoughts started kicking in, just as they do in every class I take. I start off good, with happy and exicited to be there thoughts and when things start to get tough, the dark side kicks in.

The lights were off so Bee didn't see the evil looks I was shooting her way as she told us to turn up the resistance for the 20th time. Soon I detached, and told myself an old parable that I made up as I went along. You see, Bee used to be my only instructor. I grew up doing step on her hand made wooden steps at various places she would rent around town. Her wooden steps kept me skinny so I could eat 3 tacos, a quarter pounder w/cheese, or anything else I wanted during those teen-early twenties years.

When I decided to have kids, Bee turned on me. Right when I was just about in the skin I wanted to wear, I needed to take a break from her, the break was 10 years long. While I was out w/my children, playing Mommy, she snatched up the body I was gonna choose. Oh sure, she had dozens of kids by then and didn't take breaks from working out but here I am 10 years later, and I want that body back!

I realized I was inappropriately staring so I closed my eyes and rode my bike at full speed. She was singing Brick House by now over her mic and I enjoyed the karaoke impromptu which brought me back to reality. I left class, drenched in sweat and before I could get out the door, Bee said, "Now be nice Val!" ... how did she know I was talking about her in my head!!??!! Scary, I'll have to watch what I think around her...and I AM gonna get that body back Bee! Wait and see!