Imma Run to Town, Be Right Back...

Yep, so I haven't ran, except to the mailbox once when I thought there was a check in there since the Fall, and even then it wasn't far. But today, I again discovered that my brain is younger than my body.

I decided, I'mma run a little...I made it across the street and I was walking again...but I didn't walk but a few steps and ran some more. Traffic was flying past me and I pretended that everyone in those cars, were my facebook friends, and they would make fun of me online if they caught me walking.

I ran down to Jack's and I turned around. My goal was the flag poles but a little thing called asthma had me wondering what the heck I would do if I couldn't get back. So I turned around, and ran/walked back. Hey, it's a start. The total of one long mile was all I could do today...but there's always tomorrow.

I went inside The Gym where I was awaiting the hour long Zumba class to start and I began to cough...and I remembered, my asthma. So out to the car I go, take me a hit of the inhaler and I was all good. I danced at Zumba but with less energy as usual, that running wore me out! But it's four o'clock and I've already walked over 15,000 steps today. I'm off to wash off the Dirty Bit and then I must hop on a 4-wheeler and ride around with my daughter. Fun times. If I can move this week, I plan to attend the early morning classes, spin and aerobics!

I can't lift my arms....

Again, I tried something new at The Gym. I've had this instructor many times before, in fact she's the main character in my fitness history which goes back hundreds of years since I had a decade gap in my exercises. This class was called TBW-total body workout. Given that I know this lady, she used to keep me skinny, I knew that I could do it. The main question was how much ibuprofen do I have left!

I walked into the room at 5:15 am, all the insane people standing behind their steps, ready to sweat it out before work. I knew I'd fit right in, on the verge of failing sanity myself...which I like to call determination. If 5 am is the only time I can get to the gym, then I'm going, they are open! I have a long list of excuses that no one wants to hear anymore, it's easier to just go, work off my stress, wash it all off in the shower, pour it down the drain and have a fantastic day...it's become a choice really...feel bad or feel good...stressed or relaxed...sleepless nights or sweet dreams...

There were men attending this class (not the first time I've seen men in her class) so common sense should have told me to hop on a treadmill instead. Nope, she'd already spotted me and called me by name...I had to stay! I look around and they have steps, weights, mats, exercise balls, and BARBELLS...

I've never used those, I thought they were for decoration! So I got a very light set of weights, and I barely added any weight to the barbell because like I said, I know this instructor and I am no fool. Total body workout...hmmm, can't be that bad. If I can suffer make it through Lady F's spin class the day before, where she YELLED at us with her "100 % GO GO GO GO!!!" and live through the near-death experience, I could do this. Besides, the room was packed so I felt sure that someone in there knew some basic medic skills that could save me if I collapsed.

I survived. I have the amazing ability to detach from myself and watch me workout without feeling the immediate pain. I stepped back and watched the poor old mama me shake as she reached the final set of the hundred and fifty chest presses, the eighty-five reps of shoulder raises, and the sixty other upper body exercises we did. I watched carefully to make sure no one else saw the 35 year old body convulse as her weak arms lifted the small tiny weights. Everyone else in the room was using double the dumbbells she was, but she was the smart one, she knew her limits...

Here it is the morning after, and I can't lift my arms...is that normal? I plan to spend my day bending my arms at the elbows rather than shoulders so if you see me and I act strange, or don't wave, it's because I have two non functioning limbs right now and not because I forgot my deodorant. My 'hangy down thangs' as my daughter calls them, aka triceps are in a great deal of pain as well...I'm still trying to figure out what those are for anyway...And don't assume I'm doing a self-breast exam in public, I'm simply massaging muscle (and I use the term lightly) that is forming underneath all the padding...because I'm in pain...and I didn't win the free massage this week for doing the Fitness Challenge so I'm on my own here!

As I take my day off from The Gym, I know I'll return tomorrow night as I meet up with some friends there. I'll need a good workout after I sub at the high school tomorrow!

I'm getting fit to become a better dancer. Whether it be Zumba class or crunkin' in my crib, I plan on gettin' my groove back. I used to be able to dance, and I plan on doing that again!

He gave me Nelly...

Where oh where do I begin? I tried something new at The Gym this morning...although I've attended 2 spin classes before, this was a different instructor and they are all unique so it's like starting over sometimes when you change instructors...

I walk in and there SHE is...Lady F...yep, Lady F from step class, who likes pain, who likes sweat, and probably blood too...I have my game face on-I give her the "Let's do this!!" look as I desperately try to assure myself so she knows I'm not chicken! I go find a bike, place my towel on it so people know it's reserved and walk around in a panic, wondering what the heck am I doing?

The room is packed, she refused to let me plug up the fan, lights went off and I began to sweat. My heart raced as the music pumped-did I hug my kids goodbye? Did I tell them I loved them this morning? Is this the end?

About half-way thru the class-I'd already ridden at least 12,000 miles, I began to converse with myself. If you've read about my gym visits before, you know this is not good. I had reached a point that I was trying to decide between passing out, cardiac-arrest, choking to death on salt water that poured from my brow down into my mouth (nasty), or just walking out and leaving...staying wasn't even being considered at this point...and then It's the Climb came on. Not a huge Miley fan but I've always liked this song-when you have any type of struggle in life and you hear that song, things tend to shift in the right direction. For a brief moment I thought of my child. Although both of my kids are deaf without their cochlear implant processors on, many of you know, one child (with Goldenhar Syndrome) has always been a medically challenging child. I have no idea how many surgeries he's had, how many CTs/MRIs, sedations, I had to quit counting to preserve some mental health for myself. I was on the verge of tears when God stepped in. As usual, He showed me the young lady a few bikes over whose husband is now an unexpected cardiac patient...the lady who's been snowed in with a potty training toddler (whew, if you don't have kids-that's extremely stressful) and then a cancer survivor who walked past the spin room who had just ran miles on the treadmill outside...Every single person in that gym had already climbed mountains in some form or another, we all pushed through, we are all winners. I could hear some of the riders singing the words to the song and my tears did not fall.

I soon forgot about leaving the class, I was there to stay. This was nothing. If I can stay up for days on end, sleeping in a hospital with my child, if I can give him iv medication for weeks around the clock, if I can work several part time jobs so I can remain a stay at home mom too, I think I can ride a bike for an hour. As the sweat poured, my towel was soaked, my clothes were soaked, and God stepped in again. He gave me Nelly. I love me some NELLY, right down to the little bandaid on his cheek. Although Hot n Hurr would have been fitting, I pushed though Shake Your Tail Feathers and so did everyone else. We are rock stars. We are taking our stresses, and making them work for us.

I made it home...somehow...and my kids looked horrified when I walked in. One kid said, "Mama, your eyes look crazy, they're different!" I went straight to the shower and there I saw mascara on my cheeks, fabulous. I've boiled my clothes and had a salad and roast beef sandwich on light whole wheat for lunch. And for the first time, I felt skinny...no matter how big my a** is, I felt skinny. I'm working hard, I'm doing it for me, and the pounds don't even matter at this point...I can do things, I had no idea I could do.

Shake Whatcha Mama Gave Ya...

...and unfortunately my mom has blessed me with more than my share! This is why I get off beat with the instructor during Zumba. It takes my load longer to travel from one side to the next so I always seem offbeat from her skinny self. But I have so much fun doing it! Today we even did the Roger Rabbit to some Salt-n-Pepa! You heard me! Remember last time we did the Roj(read that story here) so you never know what ole Christie has up her sleeve. Class was packed today and I could have sworn I was sweating chocolate...we've been snowed in for days here and seems like that's all I eaten.

And just so I can brush up on my old skool skillz (in case we cabbage patch next) I'm revisiting the 90's....

Fresh from the hog farm....

Want that fresh from the hog farm look? Maybe you should try "Lady F's" aerobics classes. Today she did a so called body sculpting class for those who can see their bodies, mine is still hidden deep beneath a thick winter coat of lard I wear year round. It was a "45 minute" class which she lied and tricked us we just enjoyed so much, we stayed and extra twenty minutes or so. I know I've written about Lady F before (click to read about my first class with her) and it was almost that bad great again today.

I'm safe at home now with no idea how I got here and need about a 45 minute shower to recuperate. I used to think that she wanted me to die, but now I know she doesn't. She isn't specifically targeting me in anyway, she wants us all to be in severe pain. It's okay though, I know you can't actually die from pain itself or I'd have been gone after the first class.

I'm off to shower off the residuals of lying on the bench with my whale tale in the air, lying in the floor holding a massive exercise ball with my legs, hoping it don't pop out of my death grip and hit the lady in front of me, and the residuals of trying my best to hide behind people so she don't catch the things I say under my breath me cheating...so I can start my day fresh and clean, and less hog farmish...while I can still walk.