Friday, January 7, 2011

Fresh from the hog farm....

Want that fresh from the hog farm look? Maybe you should try "Lady F's" aerobics classes. Today she did a so called body sculpting class for those who can see their bodies, mine is still hidden deep beneath a thick winter coat of lard I wear year round. It was a "45 minute" class which she lied and tricked us we just enjoyed so much, we stayed and extra twenty minutes or so. I know I've written about Lady F before (click to read about my first class with her) and it was almost that bad great again today.

I'm safe at home now with no idea how I got here and need about a 45 minute shower to recuperate. I used to think that she wanted me to die, but now I know she doesn't. She isn't specifically targeting me in anyway, she wants us all to be in severe pain. It's okay though, I know you can't actually die from pain itself or I'd have been gone after the first class.

I'm off to shower off the residuals of lying on the bench with my whale tale in the air, lying in the floor holding a massive exercise ball with my legs, hoping it don't pop out of my death grip and hit the lady in front of me, and the residuals of trying my best to hide behind people so she don't catch the things I say under my breath me I can start my day fresh and clean, and less hog farmish...while I can still walk.

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