The Digit

Tomorrow I will wake and change my age by one digit. Back (a few years ago) when I was 29, I had no idea what kind of changes age would bring. Prior to that, it had only been good things, like wisdom, more family members, some pep to my step. Now, post 30, each year has added a variety of changes, which are not always welcomed and some things even have me wondering if I'm transforming to a man...

• at 31 I began grunting-now it's less awkward since it's part of all my routine activities and now I've been grunting for years-pick up a kid (insert grunt), pick up a pencil (insert grunt)
• at 32 I had to start warming up my body in the mornings before I could have full access-walking hunched over from the bed to bathroom for example holding my back (til it gets warmed up) has helped a lot
• at 33 I was called a grandmother in a check-out line. I got contacts and I do not look younger. I've not been back to that store.
• at 34 I decided to ditch the minivan in a hopeless attempt to restore my youth with a cooler ride...a 4 door sedan. I am still uncool-ask my kids!
• at 35 I woke up one day and discovered I had a beard. As I put on my make-up next to a window with all that beautiful natural sunlight shining upon my face-I saw that I had blonde hair that was thickening each and every day. I haven't sat in the sunlight since.

So when I wake at 36 years old in the morning, I can't help but wonder what THE DIGIT will bring me? Will I find a stray nose hair that I actually need to clip? Will I need to start coloring my hair or better yet, need bifocals? Maybe the high blood pressure news I got last week will be all the bad news I get this digit. We shall see what THE DIGIT has in store for me!!

Ghost Stories (part 1)

I told you that since moving out of the haunted house I grew up in, there have been very few paranormal experiences around me. So I feel like that spirit was either attached to someone else in the house or the house itself...it did not follow me here.

We've lived in my husband's grandparent's home for many years now. Though no one actually died in the home, and the house has remained in the family since his grandparents' passing, we have had a couple of odd occurances, none of which frightened me like before in the house I grew up in.

One day, within the first year or two of living here, I heard my dogs barking like crazy. I looked out the window to find them crouched and ready to attack if necessary as they barked at something that was apparently really close. I looked out the window, I saw nothing. I moved to another room as the dogs continued to bark towards the barn and looked out of those windows which gave me a variety of angles...I say nothing but two crouched dogs who were adament that something was there, that wasn't supposed to be. We live in sort of a remote rural area so if something unusual comes along, my dogs have a fit. I continued my search out every possible window and still saw absolutely nothing between my house and the barn...weird.

After a few minutes they stopped and my phone rang...it was my mother-in-law who lives a hundred yards or so behind my house. "Can I talk to Chad a minute?" which is her son. I told her he was at work and she insisted she just saw him (or someone else) walking from the house to the barn. I stood firm that he was work and had been for hours and neither the kids or I had been outside in last couple of hours. She went on to tell me that her inside dog was was going nuts barking down toward my house and when she looked out, she saw a man walking to the barn in plain view from my house to the barn. He was wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt. I then informed her that my dogs were going nuts too, but I looked the entire time they were barking and saw nothing..."It was Daddy," she said. He had come to visit and check on his house and barn. Weird coincidence or paranormal activity?

Answered Prayers...

I can not tell you how many times I've looked at these faces and prayed that time could just stand still for a moment. Just this morning as I knelt beside my daughter's bed as she peacefully slept, I looked at every freckle on her little nose, I kissed her forehead and I just wished the clock would stop for a little while so I could sit beside her bed and just watch.

Unfortunately, children wake when their Moms reek of coffee and their brows furrow in anger knowing it's time to get ready for a long day at school. What I once thought were the sweetest, most perfect little lips will part and the odor that seeps out will confirm that children DO gargle with sulfur before bed. Words will pass over those perfect little lips that I never intended to teach my children but just for that moment...before they wake...

Unfortunately, time did stand still today-it was just a few hours late during Lady F's aerobics class. Now, despite what some people think, the name Lady F isn't intended to imply I call her a bad name. Her name actually begins with an F so that is why I call her that-those of you who take her classes can feel free to call her the bad word if you need to do so-she may have earned it.

If you were in class today and wondered why the HECK I kept checking my phone any chance I could...it's because I had hoped some teacher was desperately needing to get in touch with me so I could rush out of class and say, "OOOPS, sorry, I've been called in to work!" Guess what? That didn't happen. When I saw "Lady F" and "Tall T" on the elliptical BEFORE class I knew something was wrong with them we were in BIG trouble. Some of the runners decided to go catch a quick mile before class, who does that?  I chose to walk around aimlessly until class began.

Once it started, it didn't let up. That's when God decided to answer one of my prayers...time actually stood still. I'm not kidding. I wondered if I was the only one who had been 'chosen' for this time warp-it was really weird and scary! No matter how many REPEATERS we did, no matter how many CRAZY STEPS she ordered us to do, the clock didn't seem to move forward. I had hoped it was a nightmare and I'd wake up at any minute but what seemed to be 3 hours of high impact shock to every body part I lug around-didn't seem to advance the clock much. Maybe Lady F's clock runs on 1-Miss-sa-sip-peeeee, (deep breath) 2-Miss-sa-sip-peeeee......who knows?

But the GREAT NEWS is this...
Friday I was not terribly surprised that my doc put me on blood pressure meds. My bottom figure was over a hundred in his office-it should be 80 or lower. Anyway-I've been on meds all weekend and it has hovered in the 90's-Sunday after Zumba it did get down to 89 on bottom so it must be true-exercise IS good for your blood pressure. Yesterday it was 132/93 and this morning right before class it was 118/90. When I left Lady F's class, I went straight home and checked it again...the lowest it's been in YEARS!!!  114/85-yes I was exhausted but I can't believe that it has finally been confirmed....LADY F is really really good for me. Granted, it's still out of the 'normal' range but going from 100-110 on the bottom (prior to meds) to an 85 after an intense workout-I'm super excited!!! So looks like more exercise is in my future!

Tobacco Grins...

Well, I can not tell you how great it feels to get a REAL haircut. I know I got one back in December at Wal Mart (nuttin' wrong w/Wal Mart, used them for years!) But today I went into a real salon for the first time in YEARS...and I'm not sure why I've been waiting for an hour to get a trim at the same price anyway...? What is wrong with me? And at Ooh La La Hair Studio, you get your hair brushed and dried automatically without them expecting you to speak up if you want those EXTRAS. I hated being left to 'air dry' on my on but I was always charged extra before! It felt good catching up w/some old friends, chatting, almost slipping into a coma it felt so good, I just love for people to play with my hair! (Thank you Andria!!!)

I've decided it must have done me a world of good because the first thing, after I pulled out of that parking lot, I had a dude checking me out! Now granted he was driving a car with NO TAG, a muffler that I was sure would dislodge from it's bracket or tape or whatever he had it hanging from at any moment...and let's not forget his tobacco grin or was that just complete empty space, it's hard to tell from a rearview and side-view mirror. It didn't appear that he could go any faster than 23 mph so I had to leave the tobacco grinner behind as I turned down a side road. Who knows, he could have just been so proud to NOT be walking today, that he wanted to be sure I saw him-maybe it had nothing to do with me. But I feel better anyway!

~~~~~~~~

Since I'm about to have a birthday soon-and enter the ZONE where 40 is less than half a decade away, I thought it's time for me and my husband to start going to each other's yearly check up appointments like the cute silver haired couples you see in every doctor's office wearing smiles and sitting ever so patiently. The men wear their 'good' overalls with plaid shirts and women are dressed to a T! BUT my husband turned me down-"No Way!" he barked. Now I must fast in the morning-take the kids to school-go get vial after vial of blood drawn from my veins, but at least I will have Facebook with me-gotta have some entertainment!

Phantom

If you know me personally, then you are likely already aware that I grew up in a house with six total living people and at least one phantom presence. Many of you have heard these stories over and over again but no matter how many times we go over them, they are just as real today as when they happened to my family growing up in that house where my parents still reside.

We all seemed to experience different individual hauntings but when one of us had an experience, we could empathize with each other, knowing that fear and praying 'it' would just leave us alone. I don't think it ever crossed our minds to just leave or move, it was OUR home and we are naturally stubborn people. I can tell you this though, after I grew up and moved out, I've had very few paranormal events, and I felt an extreme sense of relief that I could actually go to bed and go to sleep without being harassed by a dead person. For me, it was mostly vocal harassment, from loud door slams (even though the door was already closed) to saying my name or my sister's name really fast over and over and over in my ear at night while I was fully awake! I can still hear it today "VAL-VAL-Val-Val-val-val-val..." to the point you realize it is deliberately trying to drive you MAD. My sister and mother experienced physical harassment such as their covers pulling down the bed and my dad would actually see 'it'. I have so many stories, and yes, they are still reporting events today in that same old house. We've not researched to find out who (if anyone) died there. But I am looking into that! I will begin these stories soon, so stay tuned.....

She's The One...

So I go to Lady F's class this morning even though I'm not feeling it, and I half way hoped she had called in sick. Nothing major, a sinus infection or something simple that she would get over in a few days, but to my dismay, she was there-and it looked like she had a lot of energy. I felt like I was gonna throw up.

I waited and waited for my secret "emergency medical team" to arrive. I've decided that my friends Carolyn and Tiffany would be the most likely to make sure the Paramedics are called in a timely fashion should I fall out in class. But my "emergency medical team" never showed. I got nervous. Lady F wouldn't call for help til she had at least three down so who was gonna take care of me today? I scanned the room and there she was. My new friend Sharonda. I had to make eye contact with her so she knew I was there and that I could possibly need her help. She's a Massage Therapist and when I saw her trying to weasel her way out of class early saying she had an appointment, I knew she was The One. I had to move fast, so I went over and talked to her. When my life was possibly at stake here, I couldn't rely on eye contact. I made small talk and think to myself, that should do it. She knows I have kids, she'll be glad to leave class and go call 911 if I needed her to.

I knew I was in for trouble when Personal Trainer "Bar" shouted "OFF with the fans!!" So I smiled, glad I didn't pick her as my EMT-those fitness folks stick together! We began class and I immediately left my body and watched myself go through the motions, waiting for me to fall over. We were almost finished with class when my asthma kicked in. I've been having issues w/my asthma during Zumba and other exercises but I forgot to take a puff from inhaler today so I had to run out and get it. Class soon after ended. Thank God!

As I was walking out the door, I realized I didn't want to even drive myself home. I was exhausted. I turned around to see if Sharonda was anywhere in sight. She lived closer I'm sure, maybe I could go home with her. I'm guessing it would be inappropriate to ask her if I could. I didn't even want her couch, the front porch was perfect. I could nap for a while and then go home. But I remembered she had an appointment so I was on my on. Darn.

Now I've showered and have eaten as much as could pack down my throat and I must go play first grade teacher for the remainder of my day. Wonder if I can convince them it's nap time?

7 things you need to know about me!

My friend recently gave me a blog award (thanks Amy) and sorry, I don't have 15 new blogs that I read to list for you, I barely have time for 100+ I read at any given random time (my Deaf Village duties) however, I did think of the 7 things you need to know!

1. My birthday is in exactly 1 month. Last year, on my 35th birthday, I woke up with a beard. I can only imagine what beauty enhancements 36 brings.
2. My kids are the most hilarious people I've ever met. My husband and I are thankful we have such cheap entertainment, we rarely even watch TV because we might miss something.
3. My 7 year old learned 'the F word' yesterday at school. She hasn't found out what that means but she's fully aware that you can't go around saying "I am just so...F word!!" at least now she does. (keep praying for me)
4. I have anxiety at times-many people do...but just like my sweet precious grandmother always did, I shake uncontrollably when it hits me severely. I can't control it and it almost always falls when my son is very ill or fighting some medical battle or of the like. Very few people have seen it and to watch me try to speak through chattering teeth and a shaking mandible is a sight I'm sure. It comes suddenly and goes away after I've given myself a looong talk which is also disturbing I know. If you want to read a story I wrote about my grandmother years ago called MawMaw's Miracle click here.
5. I love creating things on my computer. From writing stories, to writing spreadsheets full of formulas to creating online surveys, it just appeals to me. It takes a lot of time which is one reason I like getting up at 345 am. I have a few hours before the kids wake because once they are up, my computer time is almost non-existent.
6. Because I wake so early in the morning, I am a MONSTER by 8 pm. I usually try to get at least one kid in bed about 7:30 (she's an early bird like me) to spare her from the disaster of a mom she doesn't need to experience. The other kid watches TV quietly and doesn't make a peep. On weekends I let my hair down and often stay awake til 9 and then sleep in til like 4:30 or some other crazy hour! I'm a real wild one I know.
7. I wash clothes every single day, even if I am throwing up with a virus. I can't stand to have laundry pile up. Whether it's linens, blankets, clothes, it doesn't matter. I usually have 2 loads washed, dried and folded by the time the kids wake up every morning. I am a weirdo I know.

Turn the Page...

I realize that I'm completely insane for waking at 3:45 am, but I could honestly go to bed at 7pm every night if the little people that live with me would LET ME, but since that isn't an option I watch the clock and retire by 8:30. Do I jump outta bed and shout Hey I wanna go sweat for an hour and rush home to shower and finish getting the kids ready for school so I can work/clean/care for/shop/shuttle/forget to eat lunch I'm so busy the rest of the day?...however, when my eyes pop open, I get up if it's appropriate timing, and I do consider 3:45 appropriate.

However, the reward I get, comes after I arrive to my spin class (which is currently my favorite for my schedule-but I try to squeeze in a variety of classes). My reward is in the music, mostly. There is nothing like visions of my neighboring spinner "Mr. Bucky", one of our town's finest, cycling at full speed to some Soulja Boy, Metallica, AC/DC or Flo Rida. I can't help but wonder what he's thinking, is he listening to this music, does he like it? Cause I'm lovin' it!

Today we had a real treat. New music to jam to while spinning as fast as we can on our imaginary route to nowhere. It had a mix to some crazy hair band groups that used to be plastered to my closet door, back in the day. Groups like Guns N Roses, Van Halen, Bon Jovi, Extreme and maybe even some Poinson. We were rockin' and rollin' I tell ya. Then it happened. Bob Seger came on. It was the real Bob Seger, not an imitation jingle singer impersonating him like some exercise music is. Turn the Page poured from the Spin Room at The Gym and I heard voices. Not the kind inside my head this time but grown men, singing the lyrics to this song, and it was awesome...not necessarily the singing, just the fact we were all exhausted, we were all sweaty and stinky and we had survived the hour of spin with "The Landlord".

"The Landlord" actually owns the gym and she teaches classes too, so I have to be careful not to give her dirty looks like I do many of my other instructors. She might sentence me to 30 laps or some cruel and unusual punishment-like 2 hrs w/Lady F or turn Bee loose on me (shutter). Gotta go rest up for another spin class in the morning, then I'm off to sub at school. Let us pray.

a cussin'...

I'm just gonna be honest...certain inappropriate words enter my brain at random and it usually occurs when I'm trying to lift weights at 5 in the morning. But I do my best to hold them in my brain, grit my teeth, squeeze my 6 lb dumbbells and just hope that no one can read them off my lips should they accidentally take flight from the old noggin. Class begins at 5:15am, and it is usually packed out for the hour long class. I know most of the people in there and no one cares if you have on make up or if you have a unibrow (someone should have told me about that but I took care of it). 

I had been sweating for hours it seemed when I found myself pressing my teeth together, half way wanting to bite my tongue so that the sight of dripping blood might, just might get me out of class early. I felt sure that it should be within that last ten minutes of class but one look at the clock and I realized, I wasn't even half way there. DERN ! "Bee" caught me and said, "Val, are you watching the clock?" and I responded in my head, "Hellz-to-da-yea, I wanna make it out alive woman!" But I only verbally spoke "Yes, I am!" and besides, some instructors can't tell time and will run over their allotted time because they don't see tears yet....so lots of times, I'll make an obvious turn around to the clock to draw their attention to it, so they realize they are cutting it close. That happens to not be the case this time. About the time, I had the Elvis lip where one side of the top corner of your mouth involuntarily draws upward, I heard someone shout out "$h**" and drop their weights...it may have been Guest Blogger Brett, but it could have been someone else that was reading my mind...I almost laughed out loud though.

Mr friend "Kitten" came to rescue. When she thought we were wrapping up the 2,354 reps of abs, she jerked her stuff up and started putting her things away. I followed suit. They were down to their last 2 minutes anyway and I really needed to get home and get ready for work. Now, I must endure spin class in the wee hours of the morning and hope the Aleve will keep me moving over the next couple of days. I have been so busy I've been a blog neglector I guess, but hopefully I'll be back on track soon.

Thanks a lot marathon runners!

Back to Lady F's class today...it was a doozie!

Number 1-Lady F still has no concept of time. The class is supposed to last 45 minutes but she bullies us makes us work way past that. The sad thing is, she makes out the schedule so there's no excuse...she knows we are supposed to be set free only have to endure the pain for 45 minutes! I thought maybe her vision was bad and couldn't see the clock or maybe she got carried away, but I SAW THE LADY LOOKING AT THE TIME when we reached 46 minutes and she then said, "Well, 45 minutes sounded good on paper, didn't it?" and she snarled at one of the marathon runners...and then it made sense. We were being punished because half the class ran a marathon (or half marathon-anything over a quarter mile is a marathon to me) over the weekend and she wanted to break them in two. Their poor legs were already sore and Lady F cackled out "add some power!!" And she forced our dilapidated frames to move through lunge after lunge after lunge...and I'm thinking, hey, why should I be punished 'cause the runners have been skipping class to train for some marathon? I can't run a mile!

But the runners stayed, and took their beating. Lady F smiled at them as if she were rubbing their noses in the mess they've created for us all. They did not smile back. I was scared. I was looking for ways to cheat my way through til the end of class so got water, I blotted the sweat with my towel, back on the step for a count of 10 and whoops, I need water again...but that can only get you so far. Lady F will catch on soon and make us stay another 5 so I try to keep up.

I'm wondering if Lady F can count past 10 because I constantly hear "10 more!" and she just does it over and over and over...in my book, 10 x 10 is 100, not 10 Lady! But there's no use in arguing, I try not to even look at her for fear she'll think I have an ounce of strength left and give me 10 more.

So in my head, I sing Miranda Lambert over and over and I think of all the math tutoring Lady F needs and every time I hear her try to count past 10 but only revert back to 1, I simply say "Bless her heart" over and over. Hopefully the marathon runners made it through, I got selfish at the end and couldn't even look over at anyone else, I was in survival mode. Although I am proud of the runners, I have to say THANKS A LOT! I do blame you for the Lady's behavior today! Now, let me have some warning before you all start skipping class again since we all have to pay the price!