The Fifty

 I started with a fifty, a wonderful Christmas gift that I refused to spend on anyone but myself this year. As tempting as it was to stop by the gas station and fill up my car, buy trash bags and all the other grocery items we are running out of...I said "NO!!!" This year, it would be spent on ME! Now how did I stretch this fifty?

First thing I did was go get my hair trimmed. I'm not big on going to the salon, not really a hair person, so I've not been in about 5 months...so I went. That was almost half (including tip) but I still had $29 to go...

 So I took $11 and bought myself some healthy milk (and I vow to drink a small glass every late afternoon), milk makes me sleepy, sleepy feels good at the very end of the day, and I got my favorite salad items (yum)...$18 to go...

So I took $8 and bought a gift pack (on sale) of makeup. New makeup-which I rarely get to buy-makes me feel good. I deserve new makeup, so I bought it. Now what to do with my last $10 ??...

I took my last remaining dollars and invested it...in myself. For only $10 at my local gym, I can start a complete healthy makeover, and I'm doing it. I signed up for their 2011 Fitness Challenge-Step Yourself Healthy...

and I'm proud that I've spent my fifty on ME this year.



Hi-Skewwww

Lots of times when I meet a new sub, I'll say, "So do you go over to the high school too?" And more times than not, I'll get a "NO WAY!" before I can finish my sentence.

There are certain risks going over there...headaches, heart failure, stroke, disfigurement, not to mention to risk of ambulatory phychotic treatment are all possible side effects of being a sub in a high school, but you usually survive. All the kids think their real teachers are mean...but nice don't work here. Even some of the sweetest ladies I know are teachers and subs at the high school and have a reputation but after one day over there, you'd understand why.

The minute kids see a sub they get excited. Even the sweet looking girls will try to deceive you tell you they are supposed to just sit there listening to MP3 players. Some come in talking about a fight that is supposed to happen during break, some smile at the sub and some come in and go to sleep immediately. I overhear kids talking about all kinds of various things from inappropriate to silly, to drugs, to everything under the sun, but if they are in quiet, private conversations after they have finished their work, I let them be. Nothing I can say or do will change their behavior outside of school. They get things like that from their real teachers. Some have actually flashed their hands in the air and said, "It's just a sub" when they realize they've said something borderline inappropriate too loudly. I can't stand that! It's like screeching fingernails down an old chalkboard!

Some kids, especially girls, tend to have the smart mouths...or attitude. They dislike when a sub is left no assignments but she teaches anyway...**grin** Yep, I may not know how to teach band or music class to high schoolers, but I know what symbolism is. So when people take advantage of quiet time, and use that to dance around the room, talk in their loud man voices about 15 dbs too loud, or ask to go to the restroom one by one...I whip out symbolism. "What is a symbol?" I ask, but I forgot this was music class so I got "a percussion instrument"...

We discussed symbolism in "The 12 Days of Christmas", they actually found it interesting-at least the 9th grade music class did...we even talked about "Every Rose Has its Thorn". We went over the various symbolic meanings of roses, their colors and even how Romans used the term 'sub-rosa' meaning under the rose at meetings, hanging roses above the meeting table at times which meant they kept that matter private/secret...we even discussed some rap and country songs. That worked for about 15 minutes...but I assured them I love to write and that if they got loud again, I'd have them pick a song and break it down, writing me the symbolic meanings of lyrics, etc.

I also assured them that I'll be back several times next month for that class and I'd have tons of writing assignments on standby....sometimes you just have to show them, you're not just a sub. Pretty soon the unruly ones will realize that I am no 

and if I leave some place for ambulatory psychotic treatment, it'll be from my home due to my own kids, not someone elses!

The kids from Heaven

Although I'm very thankful for my kids, and I'm sure they were sent from Heaven, I'm not referring to them today...nope. Our day started on the wrong foot when Brook awoke MAD!! "What's wrong with this stupid thang?!?!" She shouted. Deep breath in, deep breath out...I know when she wakes like this, it's never good. I enter her room to find her trying her best to be a good girl underneath that harsh frowning exterior...she was trying to make her bed but her comforter was sideways. "My stupid bed grew!!"

Apparently she had a good day at school, they knew where to find me if she got outta hand, but I didn't see her all day. Gage always has a good day so no worries there. But putting them together after school for the 30 min car trip through pouring rain with a malfunctioning contact (I could not wait to get that out of my eye when I got home!) makes for a very stressful trip to the dentist. He's getting more mature so he straightened up...she did not. She went to bed at 6:30 last night, I stand by my decision!

Yesterday (and again today) I have found the kids from Heaven. I am not joking when I say I had to 'shhh' them maybe ONCE. The entire group was mature, eager to learn, and quiet. At first, I was a little creeped out by it, who's that good? I was afraid maybe there was a rumor I was the wicked witch teacher or something and I'd cast a spell if they spoke or moved or breathed. I was careful to be extra polite and to give them extra smiles, I didn't want to be the wicked witch. But as the day went on, I realized they talked, just quietly, they didn't seem scared of me at all, they gave me all kinds of artwork at the end of the day (one said 'you are awesome' the others were pictures and even a homemade horse that stood up on its own, I so needed a paper horse!)...What a great class! Not that any of my others have been horrible, these kids are just Angels. We'll see if they do as well today as they did yesterday!

Oh, I'm afraid I've ruined this teacher for good. She can't go home complaining of her horrible day at work!! Nope, I won't believe it!! lol, she's doing a great job though!!

Today I needed chocolate...

...and I stole some from the teacher I was working for. She wasn't there obviously and needed me to sub for her, and I was very desperate! She had a jar FULL of Hershey's Kisses and I swear they were smiling at me. I ignored them, I gave them dirty looks, and then I ate them...several of them. I felt so bad, she'll know it was me, and who wants a candy thief working for them...so I left her a note and some change...lol.

Lunch is what actually what pushed me over the edge. I sat w/a bunch of first graders...WHOSE MAMAS PUT BROWNIES, AND FANCY CAKES from Little Debbie in their lunchboxes. I begged the kids to give them to me and they refused. So when I got back to the room I cracked and had 3 Kisses. So today I needed chocolate, and I took it, without asking...shame on me.

The C word !!

I LOVE first graders!! Yes, if you had to spend every single day with fifteen six year olds who are all so demanding different, you'd want to poke your eyeballs out a break occasionally and this where I come in...the sub!

Last time I had these guys I met "my little sweetheart" who had lost a tooth 'cause it bled when he washed it so the doctors removed it...read that story if you haven't already, ADORABLE KID !!! So I was completely looking forward to what conversations would unfold during my day in first grade...

First, I should explain that first graders are a little less forgiving when subs do not do things EXACTLY LIKE THE TEACHER so I do my best...it's hard having fifteen critics constantly telling you that you were supposed to read them a book after snack and not after lunch....but hey, I've learned to admit "I am trying to entertain you kids so you don't go home crying do things the right way but as long as we get it all in, the teacher will be so happy."

Back to my little sweetheart who I almost did not recognize because he forgot his glasses. Well, I met a little opposition from one kid in the room who did not want to draw me a picture of a person doing their job in a familiar place (fireman/fighting fire, teacher/school) as we discussed nouns (people and places) and then write me a sentence about it...he preferred to be doing cartwheels or punching holes in his water bottle which would leak all over himself and the floor...so I continued to speak and ignore his comments but not my little sweetheart...he marched up to my desk, with a look on his face like he had just witnessed a major crime and he patiently reported the information...
"Now, now, I believe I just heard (he looks back at the defendant to make sure he's accusing the correct criminal kid) yep, I believe I just heard the C word !!" I'm saying every curse word in my head trying to remember the C word hoping he doesn't see me smile so I look sternly at the defendant and say nothing. My little sweetheart is nodding his head and patiently and politely accusing the kid of the C word crime and then the accused says, "Crap???" I simply shh him and point to his paper hoping this will just blow over and not be a big deal. I tell the sweetheart to go back to his seat and assure him that was kind of an inappropriate word and that it would hurt my feelings if I hear it again. Luckily it worked.

This same sweetheart got nervous (again) when he got behind on a test and came up to me and said, "with all this racket, it's making my minds a crazy" as he made dramatic swirling motions around his little head. I had the kids quieten down and assured him my minds were crazy too, lol.

After that, he told me in front of the whole class that my name and his teacher's name sure were very nice names (wink wink) and a couple of the boys said, "oooooh I'm gonna tell Mrs. W when she comes back!!" and the adorable sweetheart said proudly, "Don't mind if you do! And be sure to tell her we'll have a new student in here beginning next week!"

I heart first graders

Journey to The Gym VI-gettin' crunk!

Wow Wow Wow talk about a Zumba class!
With challenged energy today, I decided to show up for Zumba class anyway. As we began our dance session, my major concern was my failing deodorant needing a hip replacement in the future 'cause Christie was crunkin' and she knows how to shake it! The problem is that some of us have lost our skillz over the years. Now ten years ago, you could find us at my house, dancing for hours and hours...we could do it and do it well, let me tell ya. My diminishing skillz have forced me to question, was I actually a cheerleader in high school? How come I can't do this anymore? I'm so not coordinated now and at one point, I thought I could possibly pull a groin muscle from shifting back and forth so quickly and lacking such control. Oh, but good thing my sister was there, she was in the same boat I was in...in fact I couldn't decide if I was laughing at me or her more! She turned once and said to me, "Hope my knee cap don't roll off onto the floor!" But we had fun!

Christie, who is abnormally blessed with major Zumba skills, was bustin' out some old school moves today! She put on some Pitbull and as my sister noted, we were doing the Roj...remember Roger from What's Happening? We did his dance today, we did the snake, dusted off our shoulders, had some Kid 'N Play leg thrusting and she even threw in a semi-cabbage patch...so you know we were having a blast!

My sister and I have decided we should really practice our Zumba moves at home some during the week...do a little Zumba homework! Now I must go back next Sunday! I'll either work my tail off or laugh it off one...either way, reducing my surface will surely be in my future.

Journey to the Gym V (and flowerless flowers)

I was all  hyped up this morning, ready for the gym...excited I would soon be reduced to tears by 'Lady F' only to walk through the doors and have her chicken out tell me class was cancelled due to all the crazies other ladies deciding to go run for miles and miles and miles and miles (I don't run). So I grabbed a treadmill and worked up my own sweat...which worked out fine because I made it home sooner and was able to eat an extra lunch do some laundry.

I wasn't in the mood to push myself too much since I had been completely exhausted yesterday after a field trip (1st grade)to a local farm. We live in the country, farms are nothing new. The challenge is adding in hundreds of other people on the same farm for school field trips, counting heads like every thirty seconds, lying to telling the kids "we'll eat soon!" when they all ask every six seconds "When can we eat??" By the end of the day, I had no desire to even walk to the car. I seriously felt like lying in the grass and waiting until my husband or someone else drove right up to me and lifted me inside the vehicle. I am old. But luckily I am not the only one because one of these first grade teachers called me and asked that I fill in for her the last half of Friday so she could get the heck outta Dodge! Hope she is having fun footballin'!

Just before I walked out the door to go to work, I received an automated e-alert that my daughter had completed another Accelerated Reader quiz on her library book at school (parents have the option to sign up and receive the test scores automatically, love that!) When I looked closely I was discouraged because she only made a 30. Then I took a second look and saw that she was testing on The American Revolution...she is six years old. I asked her teacher (who teaches next to the room I was subbing in) if she knew B had tested on The American Revolution and luckily she was able to delete this mishap and get her to test on her actual library book Young Chrissy...whew! Not sure how B typed in American Revolution though! lol

As soon as I walked in the classroom for my subbing job, I got hugs and smiles and many said, "Hey Brooklyn's Mom!!" I just love first graders! Despite the fact that three girls cried on me (not my fault!). One fell out of her chair, got embarrassed, put her head down and sobbed but when I told her about me falling out of my chair(as an adult-some of you may have witnessed it, lol) and how embarrassed I was, she smiled and it was over. One girl cried when someone wasn't gonna be her friend and still another made a mistake on her math test and was unsure if she could correct it...(she did) and once again all were smiling their toothless grins. One little girl brought me the prettiest bunch of grass flowerless flowers back from P.E. Did I say I just love first graders?!!! So adorable.

Had a fantastic day, kids are so cute...I love my jobs. I would also love a pedicure this weekend, along with an eyebrow waxing...I need a little hygiene pampering!! Can't wait for Zumba Sunday at The Gym.

In which I get inducted to the Looney Hall of Fame

Oh what a weekend...
I began my Friday with a quick workout from Lady F who seeks to torture poor fat stay at home moms whips people into shape and enjoys nothing more than to hear moans and groans from her victims class. This means she's doing her job and doing it well. I knew I had to strap into a car for six hours following the workout and shower and drive my kids and my mother to Gulf Shores. We decided to make a mini vacation out of the PEEPs in the Park event, which I am blessed to be a part of. My fear was that after this horrendous extremely fast paced workout, I would not be able to move or even function the entire weekend...luckily I was wrong. Didn't even get sore! YAY.

I'm always leery driving my mother's car, because it's not mine I've already hit a deer in it...so picturing me, my mother and my two screaming kids lovely children just made me want to hop on a plane and fly there instead, make it a 30 minute trip instead. Not an option, and besides my kids turned out to be Angels for once. I'm also leery of her car because you can drive it with no key. Weird.

All was going well until I step off the elevator and see that the hallway has a striking resemblance to The Shining. I swear I could hear a little boy on a Big Wheel coming down the hall yelling "Redrum, Redrum!!" Freaky.
Then I take my kids out to the pool where some of the pool rules had me doing a double take. I did take a picture but unfortunately you can't read it, not a good shot. But I'll just tell you what it said, "No Sh*tting" was probably the most shocking along w/advice on adultery and much more. Perfect for my 9 and 6 year old who both read very well, lucky they did not see it.

We headed out to our PEEPs event the morning after we arrived only to find out along the way I was allergic to something...? I sneezed 387 times in the car while driving the hour to the event and then for the 2 hours we were there, I sneezed an additional 245 times. I could barely even talk to the families. So pathetic. But hey, it was gorgeous there and the kids loved it.

We went out to eat with our audiologist and her family who attended the event after we all had spent the remainder of the day on the beach. This is when I discovered I had lost Mother's smart key to her car. Fabulous! Luckily she had another but the darn thing was in my purse pocket one minute and gone the next...as if it had grown legs and walked off. We searched and searched, called the restaurant twelve times to see if they'd found it...nothing.

Then we drove in the absolute downpours and torrential rains Alabama offered us on Sunday's trip home. I had to drive 40 on the interstate w/my flashers on, couldn't see a thing. But hey, that's just a day in the life of a nut.

Conversations of the day...

Sometimes I find it hard to believe I actually take part in many of these conversations each day...

This morning I had to send a text to my husband..."do something w the dead bird on garbage can when u get home" ... and I'm sure the cat likely polished it off before he could make it home, however, my children found the helpless bird before school, placed it on the plastic grave and adorned it w/tiny purple flowers as any proper bird grave would have....

Stressful day at school but soooo worth it all (read on)...
One kid says to me, "Did my Mama give you permission to whoop me?" and I always heed caution when I hear things like this before the bell even rings...as if he's warning me, he's gonna push my buttons today...he did end up in isolation (desk by himself) before my time was up in that class *grin*

Didn't even get a lunch today because I pulled double duty, working 2 half days for different teachers. Upper grade first who was going to lunch when my shift ended and lower grade who had already eaten when I began...HOWEVER I got to enjoy 2 P.E.s today so I ate during one of those.


Went to my next class and as they returned from P.E. one child has a small scrape under his eye where he tripped and fell while gone, he was fine but wanted to go look at it so I let him. He came back and was telling me it was stinging and I suggested he tell his family when he got home (it had been looked at already by proper personnel) , "They may have something to put on it." In deep thought he says, "...like Clorox?" and I immediately say, "No, no, something safe, ask an adult at home, they can find something, never try to put medicine on it yourself okay?" and he agreed to ask for help!

Same class, I say "Get out your Science books" and one kid goes, "Bigguns?" (they have big books and smaller workbooks)  and I say "Yes, get the bigguns out." And no one thought anything of it. *smile*

Same class, one kid, out of the blue walks up to me w/his cute big ears and opens his mouth which was completely blank up front, top and bottom and silver as far back as I could see. Adorable child says to me, "You know how I lost this tooth? I went to the doctors, it was bleeding when I washed it...I ain't gonna brush it for another week or two weeks." I smile, something I always do when I'm thinking of the proper response. He turned back to me and smiled, "And I'm glad you're one of our teachers."

Same class, same kid ten minutes before school got out. Other kids were packing up their desks for the end of day, cleaning the trash off the floor and my little sweetheart came up to me in tears holding his unfinished paper and said, "I'm very frustrated!" and he wipes away a tear. I had previously given them diction where I say some words and they write them down and then a final short sentence to try and write. Others were finished and turning in papers and Mr. Frustrated didn't hear the last section I called out. I smiled and took his paper and asked him to sit beside me. I assured him I was very frustrated as well, the kids were getting too loud and he quit crying when he found out I was also frustrated. I threatened the others with conduct checkmarks quietened the children and we finished his paper. He was happy. Bell rang and I got the usual hugs from a couple of girls but nothing more special than when that little boy turned around again, gums gleaming through his lips, and said, "Whew, thank you for helping teach me, I'm so glad you taught me."

and that's all I needed.........

Journey to The Gym IV (Strobe Light Zumba)

So I've still crawled my way been going to The Gym since winning my 2 month membership on Facebook. "Lady F" is determined I die I get into shape and I both love and dread her classes, she gives me that hurt so good kinda feeling. And I'm not sure what's wrong with these people but many of them go running before class. They obviously have a high tolerance for pain or they feel like they need to be punished severely . I do mentally prep for "Lady F", though not running a few miles before I see her I take a moment before I walk out the door, I thank God for the ability to walk without pain, use the restroom without my legs shaking full of muscle spasms, and for the ability to go about my day without people asking me "Are you okay?" I then physically prepare for "Lady F" by putting my clean clothes in the bathroom so that when I get home all salty, I can go straight to the shower! I also check my supply of Aleve and smile, knowing he'll get me through the next two days. I also do any public appearance prior to "Lady F's" class, there will be no stops for bread or gasoline after she's finished with me! But I'm having a great time and I can tell a big difference already in muscle tone.

Now, on to this strobe light Zumba I did on Sunday. On Sundays at 2 they've added another Zumba, which is great 'cause guests only pay $5 to be a Gym guest for the day and they can access some of these classes. So now I know if I can't afford a full gym membership before Christmas, I can go for $5 a visit if I want. Zumba has an acquired taste for many people. The first time or two you kinda feel lost because you don't know the routines. However, they are short and the motions are repetitive so once you've done it a couple of times, you can start shakin' your tail feathers adding more of your own dance style to it and you feel less clumsy. Sunday was my second (full) Zumba class and I look forward to going back now. It doesn't really leave you sore or anything like a step class will but it's fun and it does give you a good little workout, burning lots of calories and it's a nice break from "Lady F"...whom I love dearly and hope she doesn't read this and punish me on Friday when I see her for more torture an exciting step class.

On Sunday, the instructors (pictured below) turned off the lights which was fantastic because then people couldn't see my rolls me if I made a mistake. I think the added strobe light affect really made us feel more comfortable and I saw lots of booty shakin' going on in that room let me tell ya. These ladies may be tiny but you put on some Akon or Beyonce and woop woop, it's like a belly dancer gettin' her shake on! Tassels flying and all I could think is...I want tassels! However, right at this moment any extension to my rear end would appear to be just a warning sign to other pedestrians that I have an extended load so I'll wait on the tassels. I'm beginning to really like Zumba and look forward to going back, it's like getting together with a group of gals and just dancing for fun only without any mixed drinks full of courage. So if you're in my area, don't be afraid, it's just Christie the Zumba Queen, she won't bite, she won't laugh and neither will anyone else because you have to keep your eyes on her at all times so have no fear, try it out for yourself.

Journey to The Gym III (in which I cry)

read part one here

read part two here

Once again, I forgot to get someone to take a picture of me, but I'll make it a priority next time! It's hard to remember things like that when you're concerned you'll need a heart transplant after the hour long aerobics class is over. This was my first full hour class and I was concerned since the room full of skinny girls had low steps. I wondered why no one had them stacked up 3 levels high and now I know the answer! The other girls/ladies said that this instructor was tough and I assured them I would work at my own remedial pace and I laughed it off.

In walked the very fit and tiny instructor, we'll call her Lady F. It didn't take me long to realize that her tiny frame was only a disguise because she was packing muscle and energy like an ultimate fighter in a UFC championship. I also knew I was in trouble when I began having an outer body experience. I could see myself move in the mirror but had no awareness of even being there. I began having conversations with myself in my head, saying things like, "If you pass out, it will be fine! They'll call for help, no worries." Disturbing I know!

By the end of class, all I could offer Lady F was a smile as if to say, "Do you have any idea what I'm gonna say about you when I get home Lady?  Thanks, that was fun!" lol, and I walked out the door. I felt hungry and nauseous for the 20 min ride home, not sure if my eye balls were sweating or if that was an actual tear. Was that boot camp? Was I gonna throw up?

Once I got in my drive way, I pulled in the shade and conversed w/myself again. "It's already 10, I have to pick up the kids in a few hours, I can just sit right here. I wasn't sure how I would get into the house w/out a walker, but that's okay, I like my car...it's nice and cozy, I can rest for a while.

I eventually did make it inside, because I was still famished. I had a Lean Cuisine today. The last thing I wanna do is put something into my mouth that I have to carry on my hips during these workouts....seriously need to lighten my load here! I headed straight for the shower when I noticed I was soaked, and freezing, chill bumps all over from my body trying to regulate my temp again. Now, I think w/ibuprofen and continuing my workouts, I'll survive...but all those lunges & squats I can barely walk & I'm wondering if I can pee standing up? Gonna be hard getting up and down for a couple of days!

Journey to The Gym II

to catch up and read part one click here

Today's episode of Val's Journey to The Gym is brought to by Aesop's fable "The Tortoise & the Hare" . Since my first visit the the local gym last week (I won a 2 mos free membership) I have walked through the doors two more times.
I haven't had any more aerobic classes yet but I've been to check out the machines instead.

I decided to go in on Sat. so that if I pressed wrong buttons, set off some kind of alarm w/flashing lights or worse, not even be able to turn one on to use, there would be less eyes to witness such incompetence. I was assured they are simple to use and require no skill, and this was true! I am no longer intimidated by the machines!! I do stay away from the stepper machines, or anything else that makes your booty *outstanding* literally because I could seriously waitress both backwards and forwards w/mine, carrying trays and no spills.I have found out that I am a machine hopper. I LOVE the one called a Crossramp, after 10-15 min on that I jump over to a treadmill for a few, then on to something else.

Today, I had just finished my first go w/the Crossramp and intended to do treadmill for ten minuets or so and go back for more Crossramp, and I was already sweating bullets. I noticed an older lady (above 60) start the machine next to me. I continued to watch the tv, and after a couple of minutes, I notice the older lady out doing me! Now, I felt like the tortoise and she was the hare walking circles around me and quick! I looked down and saw I was going negative 2 miles an hour pretty slow so I sped up! I was then going her speed and hoped she would tire out soon, she was hard to compete against keep up with. I did manage to get back to my favorite Crossramp and even did a leg machine! I can't wait to back in an aerobic class or two again this week. I'm having a fabulous time at The Gym.

Journey to The Gym I

I was very excited to find out this week that I had won a Facebook contest from a local health/fitness center called The Gym. So I (and my 2 free months) walked thru those doors last night weighted down with m & m's, Mtn. Dew, chips, you name it...only I couldn't set these items down to lighten my load, they would have to be removed by actual physical activity which I've not publically done in almost a decade. I had first looked for classes offering things of interest to me such as Peanut Butter Crunch Class, Miller Lite Cycling or Choco-lates a very attractive sounding Pilates...but I saw nothing of the sort, shoot! Looks like everything down there was designed to make you healthier, reduce stress, reduce blood pressure, and hopefully reduce body mass so I can get rid of whatever that is on the side of my hips that wasn't there 10 years ago. Perfect, I need all of that, so I decide to go to my sister's class first. She was teaching a 30 min cardio-step class and I figured I could survive at least fake it for 30 min. Luckily she's a better instructor than she is photographer! I wanted to bolt for the door while I still have a chance, and my life, since I feared an oncoming heart attack but my sister seemed to stand 7 feet tall last night, and I knew I would never get past her. I claimed a back row spot, didn't elevate my step too high and it was ON! The minute I heard Ton Loc and Funky Cold Medina it all came back to me. I'm not much of a sweater but honestly, I had sweat in my ear when it was over!

I even got roped into staying for part of a Zumba class. My sister was like, "Just stay! Just stay!" and then she walks out, leaving me there so she can go teach an hour of spin class! What's wrong w/these people!?! I did have to get home to make sure kids did their homework, took baths, and to make sure I could shower and get to bed by 8, I knew my body would be in need of rest and repair. I did watch enough of Zumba to know I'm missing some vital parts needed to do it, or they are simply hidden deep within, underneath my winter coat of lard I wear year round. I did however find the dancing worth trying again and hope to try out one of sister-in-law's classes once her injury heals since she is a certified Zumba instructor.

The morning after...

Well, not too bad, so far. I kinda feel like the worst is yet to come. I did feel a muscle in my stomach I haven't felt since the last time a had stomach virus and used it to upchuck for a few days. I do feel some tightness in my arms, butt, legs, back......um, okay, so I need some ibuprofen in order to keep up w/the group of 1st graders I plan to teach today. But man, so glad I have an opportunity to go. I will go again next week as much as possible and get someone else to take my picture, lol  and hopefully I'll be able to withstand the full hour classes by then. That gym has a lot to offer, and I may even sneak in this weekend sometime and use one of the machines like a treadmill or something! You should have seen the folks getting their workout on and watching the news! I could do that!! More to come next week on my Journey to The Gym.

Blount County Education Examiner

So I passed a few weeks ago on the idea of having a 3rd Examiner title but due to the toll of regret which is keeping me up at night, I've changed my mind and I've taken my final title for now. When my page is set up, it will look similar to my other two;
Etowah Co Special Needs Kids Examiner
Etowah Co Stay-at-Home Moms Examiner
You can however, go ahead and check out the Facebook page and as soon as my Examiner page is set up and the first article goes up (over the weekend) you'll be able to see it! They are still working out the kinks w/the site upgrade so hopefully I'll be set soon.

Here's how it will work. I'll stay current w/all the schools located w/in the borders of Blount Co Alabama via websites and word of mouth, etc. Any of you who are directly affiliated w/fundraisers, events, sports, pageants, awards, PTO, etc. can send me pics or info and I'll gladly post them as soon as possible. I want to help you get the word out about your fantastic kids, what's going on in the schools today. Even if you are unsure if it is school related, go ahead and send it in, I have my ways of making things fit! It can be Oneonta City School or preschool, or Blount Co Schools, all education w/in the county, even adult ed classes will qualify!

I'm very excited about this topic since I went to school inside Blount County at Oneonta City School so feel free to email me (see Facebook for address) and tell your family and friends so they can stay current on school activities as well. I imagine w/the passion I have for the subject and the numerous story ideas, we will keep this topic quite active. Looking forward to writing for you! I will post the site and first article soon!!

youR SO Awsome

And you see why I stayed for almost a week with these kids when their tiny little teacher became very ill during the second week of school. It was almost sad on my last day because I've grown to know them, their evil tricks  clever and intelligent ideas, and they knew when they had shredded my last nerve Mrs. Blakely is serious about completing an assignment before we sing songs whisper to our neighbor. But it was a bittersweet parting this week, I am free to move on to other classes and their very missed teacher is well and they can take their tests I've prepared them for and move on to new material. But I'm glad I RocK and that I'm Awsome....so adorable six grade! Thank You!

School has begun...

...and so have the questions from my six year old...such as, "Mama why do some teachers have white dots under their arm?" It's still reaching temps close to 100 degrees down here in the South so I had to tell her it's deodorant where the teachers have been sweating!
 I've been hard at work already putting in hours as a substitute teacher (which I love). The best thing about being a sub is you don't usually have the same kids day after day after day....so when you get one that wants to tell you about the book he's reading, EVERY SINGLE DETAIL, you can patiently listen to him for the last fifteen minutes of class and know that there is at least one kid in here who is actually reading! Had I been his real teacher I'd likely had asked him to write it all out in a book report because there's no way I can stand there for 15 min without nodding off  while the other 16 kids need my attention also. So I smiled, patiently, tried walking off a few times to correct a student here and there but even though he'd get annoyed w/me, he was determined to give me all the details of this book. Good reading bud!
I've not spent much time in the car line yet since I've been working, that's where I usually find loads of entertainment. You just wouldn't believe people! So feed your children lots and lots of sugar before school, give them energy drinks, so I can spend my day asking them to, "Find a home for your bottom!" or "Park it right here!" Who knows, maybe I'll be the one with white dots under my arms before the day is up!

She's BeDDr

These were my son's b'day cards to my mom and dad who had birthdays this month...notice the armpit hair! Yep, this artwork has 9 year old boy written all over it.

And these have 6 year old little girl written all over it. As you can see PawPaw is selley (silly).

Now take a good look at this one, she was angry w/me when she drew it so she wrote on Nanny's card "Yrr BEDDr ten VaL" and I guess you can tell she thinks Nanny is better than me!

It's not that I can't cook...really!

I can cook somewhat really! But you know, I'm all about routine. And it just wouldn't be The Blakely's without my husband coming home after a long night shift to the smell of burnt food. And granted my kids (being deaf) may not hear the fire alarm but where would they be without mama scraping off the bottom layer of biscuit each morning because they are charred their half biscuits? That alarm bell just means the biscuits are done right? Sure, I'm a little distracted at times but hey, we've established a routine...which is important! lol

Because Beastie Boys are still cool

Had a great loooong drive into the city with my daughter today. We sang Trick Daddy and learned my six year old is a thug just like her Mama! Oh yea. And I just want to point out the The Beastie Boys are still cool as they received her seal of approval. I mean and why not? Where else is it okay for grown white men to rap to funky beats such as a PE teacher's whistle combined with a xylophone and repetitive lyrics in every song like

• White Castle 
• girls
• ill
• Mike D
• MCA
• beer

One Day...

One day, she will realize that not everyone's fire alarms go off each time they cook...

One day, she will mow her lawn wearing a homemade crown because her daughter thinks she is a princess and who doesn't look fabulous in a crown anyway?...

One day, she will pretend she don't know the answers just to hear her children's imagination create story after story, making up their own...

One day, she will answer the door and completely forget she's been playing beauty shop with her child...

One day, she will understand why Mom said "No, stop, get down, wipe, wash your hands, stop running, you can't carve your brother's name in dad's car either!"...

One day, she'll call her kids by each other's names, and maybe even a pet's name before her brain pulls up the correct one, and her children will make fun of her for that...

One day, she will begin sentences and never finish them because mid-way, she lost her train of thought and never recovered it...

She's a little Mama in the making...bless her heart, but she wouldn't trade her future job for anything in the world.

Homophones (Blakely style)

Today's lesson is on homophones. Those are words that sound exactly the same but have different meanings and often are spelled differently as well. Here are a few I pulled from our home...

Which-as in "Choose which one sounds better, doing what Mom said or going to bed...and I don't care if it's six pm!"

Witch-as in; It's always best Mommy gets plenty of rest or she'll look like a wicked witch.

Made-as in "Get that bed made!"

Maid-as in "I am not your maid!"

Morning-as in "You will clean your room in the morning."

Mourning-as in "You will clean your room in the morning, or you will be mourning over the loss of your favorite toys!"

no-as in "No, you can't ride four wheelers after you've sent your sister to the ER!"

NNNNOOOOO!!-as in "NNNNOOOOO!! You can't ride four wheelers after you've sent your sister to the ER, I've told you a hundred times already!"

Goodbye to a good friend

This morning I woke, got my coffee and sat at my computer to do 'my work'. I moderated the blogs from Deaf Village, read my emails, and popped over to Facebook. I went straight to my farm on Farmville...and realized I was insane. I used to think it was fun, planting crops, watching them grow, getting new farm equipment...um, I have my own garden, I need to be watching my children grow, and I get nothing from this insanity anymore. I'm done. Goodbye Farmville. I will not return. I actually told myself each morning I HAD to check my crops before I could start my day (away from the computer). This morning, I wanted to ride my bike before the satellite  man came to fix our Dish, but when I found myself putting Farmville first, I realized I had a problem. So, I've started the road to recovery. If I had withdrawls, I will go out to my real garden and REALLY PICK CUCUMBERS...REALLY PLOW THE LAND...OR REALLY PICK FLOWERS. Thank you Farmville for contributing the gas cans each day in your attempt to drive me down the road to the asylum that awaits me, but I'm done. Goodbye.

Say Ling ??

"Can you get the say ling?" she says. I reply, "what do you need saline for?" And she's written clearly here that she has poked her eye.

The Dark Room....

It is always acceptable to darken a child's bedroom as much as possible to ensure you get in your pot of coffee, gardening, excersises, music, anything that you enjoy doing without lots of extra help  those babies get plenty of rest. Afterall they are busy all day fighting, destroying the house and pushing mom's buttons, right?

My kids are still snoozing, working on their 11th hour of rest. I don't even open blinds in other parts of the house for fear that even the slightest ray will go directly to their eyeballs. It's best remain dark until you see those blue eyes looking back at you! 

I Am Not Precious!

For a moment I thought I was precious...but I was wrong & this Fudgsicle Face told me so! I am a Princess...pardon me!